Political Football: Jacksonville Jaguars v. New York Giants

JACKSONVILLE UPDATE: Last week, Ron DeSantis, who represents the suburbs outside Jacksonville, won Florida’s Republican primary for governor utilizing TV ads showing him helping his daughter “build a wall” made of paper bricks and reading Donald Trump’s Art of the Deal to his infant son; we assume junior will next be introduced to the beloved indoctrinated kids’ classic Oh, the Places You’ll Be Deported To! DeSantis immediately attacked his Democratic opponent, Tallahassee mayor Andrew Gillum, saying the people of Florida don’t want Gillum to “monkey this up.” Oh, did we mention that Gillum is African-American? Yup. This was after DeSantis back-handedly complimented Gillum on being “articulate,” prompting accusations that he was using “racist dog whistles” to fire up his aptly named base. DeSantis said the dog-whistle claim was gross and unfair—it is, to dogs—while his monkey comment was just one of those common phrases people use in Florida, like “I had to; I thought he had a gun.”

NEW YORK UPDATE: New Yorkers are getting ready to vote for a governor themselves, and while the campaign doesn’t have any vile, racist overtones, it is completely stupid and dumb and childish. The Democratic primary is a showdown between incumbent Governor Andrew Cuomo and actress Cynthia Nixon, who debated the other day—debated being a debatable description since the event almost immediately devolved into shouting, insults and name calling. Nixon: “Can you stop lying?” Cuomo: “Yeah, as soon as you do.” It’s what New Yorkers call “living.”

UPON FURTHER REVIEW: DeSantis’ monkey comment is not out of character—or lack thereof—at all. In fact, he was recently outed as being an administrator on a Facebook page that, among other things, compared Black Lives Matter activists and Parkland shooting survivors to Hitler and kneeling NFL players to ISIS. Several years ago, he wrote a book called Dreams From Our Founding Fathers. It was a response to Barack Obama’s Dreams From My Father, which featured on its cover photos of Obama with his relatives, several of whom are not white. DeSantis answered that with a book cover featuring a cavalcade of white dudes, at least one of whom owned slaves; it’s what the alt-right calls “aspirational marketing.”

ROOT FOR: Hmmmm, you hear that whistle? Go, Giants!

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