Quickies [Savage Love]

Dan Savage (OC Weekly file photo)

I’ve been faithfully reading your column in the Chicago Reader for years, and now I’m reaching out to you about my own problem. I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year. Everything is great, except one thing: He wants me to kick him in the nuts. It really bothers me, and I’m not sure what to do. He’s very serious about it, and he brings it up every day. It makes me really uncomfortable that this is some sort of fetish of his, and I need help taking steps forward.

To Kick Or Not To Kick

P.S. I play soccer, and I kick hard.

It’s a kink called “ball busting,” TKONTK, and as long as you don’t kick him full-force—or even half-force—you’re unlikely to do permanent damage. That said, childless guys who are into ball busting are often advised to freeze their sperm just in case. And while it’s not a hugely popular kink, it’s common enough that ball-busting porn exists, as well as ball-busting Tumblrs, ball-busting blogs, etc. Take it slow at first, particularly if your guy has only fantasized about this and not experienced it.

P.S. A guy who brings up his kink every day deserves to be kicked in the nuts—unless he’s into ball busting, in which case he doesn’t deserve to be kicked in the nuts.

My husband and I were married in Toronto, Canada, in 2005, before marriage equality came to the United States. Does the U.S. government recognize our Canadian marriage, or do we need to remarry in the U.S.? Can you find out from one of your legal friends?

Does Our Marriage Apply?

“The U.S. government does recognize your marriage,” said Robbie Kaplan, one of my legal friends—and the attorney who represented Edith Windsor before the U.S. Supreme Court and won. In United States v. Windsor, the Supreme Court ruled that the federal government was required to recognize legal same-sex marriages, thereby gutting the Defense of Marriage Act. “We did the same thing,” Kaplan added. “We were married in Toronto in 2006, and the U.S. recognizes our marriage. No need to get married again here.”

Hi Dan, I am getting in touch because I thought you might be interested in the following article: “Getting to the Bottom of Pegging.” For open-minded people who are open to butt play, pegging is a great way to spice things up in the bedroom. But what exactly is pegging, and why is it a thing now? Sex and relationships expert Tami Rose knows how important it is to try new things in the bedroom. She would be able to provide an article explaining what pegging is and tips for your more adventurous readers who want to give it a go. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

[Redacted] PR Agency

Pegging? Never heard of it. Wait—what’s that, Wikipedia? “Pegging is a sexual practice in which a woman performs anal sex on a man by penetrating the man’s anus with a strap-on dildo. . . . The neologism ‘pegging’ was popularized when it became the winning entry in a contest in Dan Savage’s Savage Love sex-advice column [in 2001].”

I’m in a six-year relationship with a guy you will probably deem DTMFA-worthy, but I deem round-up-able to the One. My kids already regarded him as their stepdad before we moved in together about eight months ago. That’s when I learned he’s an addict: He drinks, smokes weed and jerks off to porn for about two hours every day. He has been this way for more than 20 years, and I have zero delusions he will change for me. Recently, he told me he has very little sexual desire for me, that he knows my pussy in and out and it’s boring, but he loves my companionship. How do I deal with this so we can move forward together as an incompatible couple?

Sex Addict Partner

A romantic partner who says something as cruel and negating as what this man has said to you, SAP, either wants out of the relationship or is grooming their partner for much worse treatment to come. If he wants out of the relationship, the verbal and emotional abuse will escalate until you finally leave him. If he doesn’t want out, the verbal and emotional abuse will escalate a bit more slowly, so that, like the proverbial frog in the pot of boiling water, you don’t realize exactly how bad it’s getting and how much damage it’s doing to you—and your kids.

I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, SAP, but I’m going to say it anyway: DTMFA.

I’m a competent in-person lover, but I’m the worst at Skype/FaceTime/WhatsApp sex. I can’t get the angle right, I don’t know what to wear, I feel shy, I don’t know what to say, I can’t get off, I giggle like a 15-year-old girl getting her first French kiss under the bleachers. I’m going to be away from my guy for most of the summer, and I need to figure this out. Any advice or tips?

Struggle Keeping Yonder Penis Entertained

A 15-year-old girl may giggle the first time she gets French-kissed under the bleachers—or she may not—but a girl who giggles the first time probably isn’t going to be giggling the 50th. So just keep at it, try to relax and enjoy yourself, and ask your partner to take the lead, i.e., if you don’t know what to do, ask him to tell you what he’d like you to do, SKYPE—but only follow the orders you’re comfortable following.

What’s the fairest way to determine who should get tied up?

Bondage Bottom Boyfriends

Whoever was tied up last time does the tying up this time, and vice versa.

Do you ever wear panties, Dan? Would you post a picture of yourself in panties online? I think you would look good in panties.

Panties Are Nice To You

While I have no particular aversion to wearing panties, PANTY, and while I will not deny the allure of the models at xdress.com, I’ve never worn panties and have no plans to start. As a consequence, I won’t be able to post a picture of myself in panties online to delight you and horrify everyone else.

How much sex is too much sex?

Numb Over Numbers

“Enough is as good as a feast.”

Mary Poppins

On the Lovecast (savagelovecast.com): Dan and the lesbian panel! Contact Dan via ma**@sa********.net, follow him on Twitter @fakedansavage, and visit ITMFA.org.

6 Replies to “Quickies [Savage Love]”

  1. In this article, we’re going to share with you our most hidden secrets about on-line courting and how you can have an ideal date with a Chinese lady in search of husband. Its cutesy appears had been enhanced by its excessive fuel milage, and it was the right ’90s metropolis car. The Chevrolet Cavalier was one in all the biggest sellers of the ’90s. One in all Toyota’s sportier models, the Supra was just a little coupe with an entire lot of perspective. The Geo Metro Convertible was a tiny little car with a complete lot of persona. You would even consider taking a restricted cooking class to grasp a lot more about Hue cuisine and put together your non-public culinary masterpiece. From 1989 until now, the Lexus LS400 is the picture of class. Though the ’90s editions left a bit of to be desired in the seems to be department, the LS400 has all the time been the standard to beat in luxury sedans. A bit of hatchback with a lot of design personality, the Volkswagen Golf was a ’90s favorite for college kids and those searching for good fuel financial system.

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  2. Delusional Disorder and natural Delusions

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    Privacy MoreDelusions and Delusional Disorder Written by WebMD Editorial allies

    clinically Reviewed by Smitha Bhandari,MD on jan 12, 2023

    Types of Delusions in Delusional Disorders is the main Symptoms of Delusional Disorder? understand the Causes and Risk Factors for Delusional Disorder? How Is Delusional Disorder defined? How Is Delusional disease Treated? What Are the challenges of Delusional Disorder? What’s the Outlook for people with Delusional Disorder? Can Delusional Disorder Be prohibited? More Delusional physical condition, former called paranoid disorder, Is a type of great mental illness [url=https://www.zoominfo.com/c/qpid-network/346720983]qpid[/url] called a psychotic disorder. people who it can’t tell what’s real from what is imagined.

    Delusions are the main symptom of delusional disorder. They’re unshakable beliefs in something isn’t true or based on reality. But i am not saying they’re completely unrealistic. Delusional disorder involves delusions aren’t bizarre, concerning situations that could happen in real life, Like being accompanied, poisoned, fooled, Conspired dealing with, Or loved from a room between two people. These delusions usually involve mistaken ideas or experiences. but usually, The everything is either not true at all or highly exaggerated.

    A bizarre delusion, in comparison, Is something could never happen in real life, Such as being cloned by aliens or having your thoughts broadcast on TV. A person who has such thoughts are delusional with bizarre type delusions.

    People with delusional disorder often can certainly still socialize and function normally, Apart from the topic of their delusion, and generally do not behave in an obviously odd or bizarre manner. This is unlike of those with other psychotic disorders, Who also might have delusions as a characteristic of their disorder. But in some cases, this kind of career delusional disorder might become so preoccupied with their delusions that their lives are disrupted.

    Although delusions might be a symptom of prevalent disorders, like for example schizophrenia, Delusional disorder is rather rare. Delusional disorder most often happens in middle to late life and is slightly more experienced by women too than in men.

    Types of Delusions in Delusional DisordersThe types are using the main theme of the delusion:

    Erotomanic: The person believes someone is in love with them and might try to contact that person. Often it’s someone very important or famous.

    just what are the Symptoms of Delusional Disorder?they often include:

    Non bizarre delusions these are the most obvious symptomIrritable, indignant, Or inexpensive moodHallucinations (noticing, listening to, Or feeling ideas that aren’t really there) caused by the delusion. as an example, another kid that believes they have an odor problem might smell a bad odor.

    just what Causes and Risk Factors for Delusional Disorder?As with many other psychotic disorders, the actual precise cause of delusional disorder is not yet known. But researchers are looking at the role of genetic, natural, environmentally friendly, Or factors factors that make it more likely.

    innate: The fact that delusional disorder is more common in pastimes family members with delusional disorder or schizophrenia suggests genes may be involved. Alcohol and drug abuse also might determine it. People who might be isolated, Such as immigrants or people that have poor sight and hearing, Appear to be certainly going to have delusional disorder.

    How Is Delusional Disorder discovered?If you have signs of delusional disorder, Your doctor will likely give you a complete medical history and physical exam. Although there are no lab tests precisely to diagnose delusional disorder, your doctor might use diagnostic tests, for example imaging studies or blood tests, To rule out physical illness as the reason for the symptoms. for instance,like for example,some examples are:The doctor or therapist bases diagnosing on the person’s symptoms and their own observation of the person’s attitude and behavior. They’ll decide if the symptoms point to a disorder.

    How Is Delusional attacks Treated?Treatment most often includes medication and psychiatric therapy (A type of direction). Delusional disorder can be tough to treat, In part because people who have it often have poor insight and do not know there’s a psychiatric problem. Studies show that close to half of patients addressed with antipsychotic medications show at least partial improvement.

    The primary medications used to try to treat delusional disorder are called antipsychotics. Drugs used provide.

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