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Dan Savage

Down There [Savage Love]

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Background: I, a 21-year-old male, enjoy receptive fisting. I’ve also had constipation problems all my life. Question: I saw my doctor recently, and he tried to link my enjoyment of anal sex to my constipation. (Granted, I didn’t tell him EVERYTHING I do down there.) My understanding was that there was no causal relationship, assuming […]

Call for Submissions [Savage Love]

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I’m a 36-year-old straight woman. I was sexually and physically abused as a kid and raped in my early 20s. I have been seeing a great therapist for the past five years, and I am processing things and feeling better than I ever have. I was in a long-term relationship that ended about two years […]

Questions From the Royal Oak [Savage Love]

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I visited Royal Oak, Michigan, for Savage Love Live at the Royal Oak Music Theatre. I didn’t get to all of the questions submitted by the large and tipsy crowd—a crowd that skipped the Stormy Daniels interview on 60 Minutes to spend the evening with me (so honored, you guys!)—so I’m going to race through […]

Cock Locked [Savage Love]

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I’m in a D/s relationship. I’m not submissive around the clock, but my partner owns my cock. We’ve purchased several male-chastity devices, but I can pretty easily get my cock out of them. My partner did some investigating and learned that the only effective devices work with a Prince Albert piercing—a ring through the head […]

Ace & the Hole [Savage Love]

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I’m a 26-year-old cis queer woman. My best friend has identified publicly as asexual for the past two years. She constantly talks about how since she doesn’t “need” sex, this means she is asexual. She does have sex, however, and she enjoys it, which I know isn’t disqualifying. But she also actively seeks out sex […]

What Is Love? [Savage Love]

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I’m a 33-year-old woman from Melbourne, Australia, dating a 24-year-old man. We’ve been dating for about eight months; it’s exclusive and official. He’s kind, sweet, caring and giving, and his penis is divine. The thing is, he confessed to me recently that he doesn’t really “feel.” The way he explained it is, the only emotions […]

Zaps [Savage Love]

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I’m an 18-year-old cis hetero girl from Australia, and I’ve been listening to your podcast and reading your column since I was 13. Thanks to you, I’m pretty open-minded about my sexuality and body. Having said that, I do have a few questions. I started watching porn from a youngish age with no real shame […]

Quickies [Savage Love]

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I recently stumbled on an Instagram account of a young woman who’s a “knife play” enthusiast. I consider myself sex-positive, but I must say I was disturbed by the images. I was also shocked that I didn’t know this was a thing! But of course it’s a thing because everything is a thing, right? I […]

Bi & Biphobia [Savage Love]

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I’m an 18-year-old female who is cisgender and bisexual. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with my cisgender bisexual boyfriend for about a year. I’m currently struggling with a lot of internalized biphobia and other hang-ups about my boyfriend’s sexuality. I don’t know if I’m projecting my own issues onto him or if I’m just […]

Fighting Words [Savage Love]

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I’m a 24-year-old nonbinary person living in Florida. I have two wonderful girlfriends. One I have been with for four years (we live together); the other I have been with for a year and a half. They’re both brilliant, interesting and kind. Both relationships have their issues, but they are minor. They know each other […]

Showing Up [Savage Love]

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How does one get into the gay BDSM bottoming and leather scene? Seeking Answers Concerning Kink One shows up, SACK. “Eighty percent of success is just showing up,” someone or other once said. The adage applies to romantic/sexual success as well as professional success, SACK, but showing up easily accounts for 90 percent of success […]

Lesborama [Savage Love]

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I am a 38-year-old lesbian, very femme, very out. I have a co-worker I can’t figure out. We’ve worked together for a year and gotten very close. I never want to put out the wrong signals to co-workers, and I err on the side of keeping a safe but friendly distance. This is different. We […]

Mother Love [Savage Love]

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My father left my mother abruptly when I was 14 years old, and he hasn’t contacted either of us since. It was a crushing blow for her, and she retreated from the world. She was never bitter about it, but it was devastating. She lost the love of her life for no apparent reason and […]

Bloody Business [Savage Love]

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I’m a professional dominatrix, and I thought I’d seen everything in the past five years. But this situation completely baffled the entire dungeon. This middle-aged guy, seemingly in fine health, booked an appointment with me and my colleague for one hour of some very light play and a golden shower to finish off with. We […]

Music Box [Savage Love]

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I had a great time at the live taping of the Savage Lovecast at Chicago’s Music Box Theatre. Audience members submitted questions on cards, and I tackled as many questions as I could over two hours—with the welcome and hilarious assistance of comedian Kristen Toomey. Here are some of the questions we didn’t get to […]