Washington update: Washington really is an exceptional sports franchise, not only laying claim to being one of the NFL’s original teams, but also having, hands down, the most offensive nickname in American sports. Add to that the impressive boast that its founder, George Preston Marshall, is the most racist owner in American sports history, which is exceptionally impressive given that it’s a history that includes Donald Sterling and Tom Yawkey and every NFL owner that colludes to keep Colin Kaepernick out of work. Of course, Marshall, who refused to integrate his team, capitulating only in 1962 when threatened by Bobby Kennedy, is long dead, having settled into an eternity of being one of Satan’s side bitches, we assume. Still, current owner Dan Snyder keeps his memory alive by not only refusing to change the nickname—claiming it is part of the team’s tradition; someone want to explain the Confederate flag to him—but also maintaining an atmosphere in which ugliness and grossness and awfulness are free to bloom. The latest example is Mr. Rueben Foster, a beauty who was cut by the San Francisco 49ers after his second arrest for domestic violence and was considered radioactive by all NFL teams . . . except Washington, which signed him immediately. Soon after, Washington quarterback Alex Smith was lost for the season with a broken leg. The team had no real backup but still refused to even talk to Kaepernick. So, make a symbolic gesture to bring attention to violence visited upon a particular segment of the population—no, visit violence upon a woman multiple times, and welcome aboard. Tradition!
Jacksonville update: It’s been a horrible year in Jacksonville. . . . It’s Jacksonville.
Root for: Jacksonville. When Marshall died in 1969, his will stipulated that none of his money go toward “any purpose which supports the principle of racial integration in any form.” The NFL, true to its tradition, inducted him into the Pro Football Hall of Fame a few years later. We take some heart that whenever Rams great Deacon Jones was in Washington for a game, he would make sure to visit Marshall’s stadium statue and spit on it. That and the fact that Satan is reputed to be a very selfish lover with nasty-ass toenails.