Political Football: Green Bay Packers vs. Seattle Seahawks

Green Bay update: Sometimes, it almost feels as if there could be a God, you know, such as when you see a beautiful sunset or Dana Rohrabacher getting booted from office after three decades. Of course, you can also find yourself face-to-face with Old Testament God, the one with self-esteem and anger issues, the one who can’t wait to fuck you over because He loves you. That God was loving all over Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker last week. Running for a third term because he’d heard some teachers were still making a living wage, Walker figured to have an easy time with Democrat Tony Evers, who looks like every former hippie interviewed about Woodstock. Incredibly, after trailing, Evers took a lead on Walker and seemed to hold it. Walker and the Republicans wanted a recount because they’re so extra good at cheating. Now, the God Twist. Walker couldn’t ask for a recount because Wisconsin has a law saying only candidates trailing by 1 percent can get a recount. Walker trailed by 1.2 percent. And who ramrodded that law through the state legislature? Scott Walker! That’s some ironic comeuppance for your ass, says the Almighty! By the way, the reason Walker pushed the law was to protect Donald Trump in the next election, since the putz won the state by a mere 22,000 votes. Verily, anyone who helps Trump eventually gets royally fucked over, sayeth the Lord.

Seattle update: As with many big cities, Seattle has struggled with its police department, whether it comes to transparency, accountability and/or shootiness. Local cops had gotten so upset with local people getting all up in their business, what with the unreasonable demands that they wear body cameras and answer direct questions, they demanded that their upcoming contract provide them more cover, and they are so serious about it that they’ve threatened to resign from the force over it. Local civilian-oversight groups say they don’t begrudge cops making a good living, but they would like them to be a little more forthcoming and a little less shooty. It’s the same shrill, militant folks demanding this, of course: Mothers for Police Accountability, Public Defender Association, the Asian Counseling and Referral Service . . .

Root for: Seattle. No sooner had Walker done what appeared to be the right thing, conceding the election to Evers, than the legislature that had passed the recount law immediately began weakening the power of the incoming governor. Yeah, don’t know what we were thinking; there is no God.

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