So Mos Def is joining the cast of Dexter for its sixth season, huh? Well, I don't know about you, but I for one am very excited for it.
True, I enjoy both Mos Def's work and the seasons of Dexter I've seen. (We're trying to catch up but with us not having Showtime, and with Netflix pulling the show from their library it makes it very difficult.) But on a larger scale, I'm a huge fan of both music and serial killers (don't ask), so this blending of musicians and murderers is right up my alley.
This got me thinking: What musicians out there would be a good match for a serial killer role? After the jump, I list five of the most likely musician/murderer melds.
1. Phil Spector
Let's admit it, Phil's already halfway there. Sure, he's only killed one person so far (Spector was convicted in 2009 of killing actress Lana Clarkson in 2003) but if anybody has the serial killer “look” Hollywood is looking for it's Phil. You thought he looked scary before in those giant and ridiculous wigs? Well take a glance at that most recent (and wig-less) mug shot above. He looks like Riff Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show… only scarier. Spector won't be available for a film role for the next seventeen years though as he's busy doing the time warp again in the showers of Corcoran.
2. Justin Bieber
Even based on that moody photo above, you wouldn't expect this teenage
heartthrob to be able to fake evil very well, but I include him on this list for two
reasons: A) He's done a remarkable job of murdering both good taste and
the eardrums of teeny boppers everywhere for the past few years, and B)
our hits go up every time we mention “Justin Bieber” in a post. JUSTIN
BIEBER! JUSTIN BIEBER! JUSTIN BIEBER!
3. Any member of Hollywood Undead/Insane Clown Posse/Slipknot or any other band that feels the need to dress up like a clowned asshat before taking the stage
Sure, they may look scary, but underneath all of that makeup and those masks is a quiet nerd who got picked on all throughout their youth… and aren't those exactly the people who snap and end up collecting heads in their “secret trophy room” in their basement?
4. Courtney Love
Actually, I rescind this one because Courtney couldn't play a very good serial killer. She could, however, play a completely believable victim of one. I'm telling you, Courtney, if you ever get an opportunity to play a corpse on NCIS, Criminal Minds or any of those nine million other murder shows currently on television, do it. Because I've got two words for you: Fucking Emmy.
5. Charles Manson
The Godfather of music and murder! Seriously, if the Beach Boys had just let him join the goddamn band Sharon Tate would be enjoying a comeback as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars right now. Actually, come to think of it, she might just be better off.