You're a Tool

I wanted to tell your manager about the fuck nugget hiding in the tool aisle, but I decided to spare your reputation. Your co-worker, who was actually nice, described you as the expert, so I was a little surprised when you told me how to put a drill bit in a drill, but refused to open the box to look at what I had described as the actual problem. When we finally opened the box and I inadvertently turned the chuck the wrong way, you took the drill, tried the other direction and loudly proclaimed, “You're turning it the wrong way!” with a look that resembled bewilderment and anger. I tried to explain that I had read the directions at home and first attempted to unlock the drill chuck correctly, but you had already decided I was an idiot and just walked away. Here's an alternate response: “Well, sir, perhaps the first drill you took home was stuck. Thanks for not taking a mallet to it.” If the big chain you work for ever goes out of business, you'll be partly to blame and can be liquidated along with the rest of the tools.

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