You Blow at Driving

Kudos to you, landscaping guy. You were brilliant to mount your industrial-size leaf blower on the utility box behind the cab of your maintenance truck so you could drive and blow at the same time. Even more brilliant since you were stopped in an apartment-complex entrance, ass-out into the most dangerous stretch of 50 mph road in Orange County while you dealt with a stubborn patch of dirt. I'm sure the woman trapped on the sidewalk with her two dogs as you generated huge clouds of gritty dust and toxic white smoke appreciated your genius, too, not to mention your environmental consciousness. Maybe you'll kick it up a notch and figure out a way to text while you steer and blow. That'd be awesome—maybe even killer.

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