Trumpy Claus [Hey, You!]

More than an hour before the holiday boat parade was to start, the Dana Point Harbor parking lot was overflowing, with a line of cars waiting to get in. It looked as if my car was blocked by a parked sedan, but it wasn’t. I walked in front of the white car, expecting to be asked if I was leaving, but it appeared empty. Two polite guys in an SUV asked me if I was leaving, and I said yes. When I started my engine and turned on the lights, the white car woke up and backed up to block my car. The SUV guys got out and yelled at the driver, but he screamed on and on about how he was waiting half an hour. He sounded like Bush the First. The SUV guys said they asked me, so my spot was theirs. The shouting escalated. I finally got out and asked the driver of the sedan to move or I’d call the police. He screamed his “I’ve been waiting half an hour” refrain. Finally, near apoplectic, he told the Latino SUV guys (who were obviously Americans) to go back to their country. Without pause, I yelled, “F YOU, TRUMP BRO” to the white car as it drove away. Happy fucking holidays, creep.

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