Instead of my usual column about terpenes, lab tests and THC content, I’m going to use this space to talk about the events that took place Thursday, July 25.
I woke up at exactly 7 a.m. to another beautiful Southern California day. After my usual cup of coffee and my workout regimen of 10 sit-ups, I reached for Connected Cannabis Co.’s newest sativa offering, Gelonade. The gassy, floral scent stung me like an angry wasp as the smoke slowly filled my lungs. I let out a sigh of relief as I realized I was going to be late for a train that was sure to be departing within minutes. I immediately gathered all my belongings and floated to the station, only to find that I had arrived with seconds left on the clock.
While slowly catching my breath, I stood on that train with the widest grin—and I honestly felt as if I had cheated death. Maybe it was the strength of the Gelonade’s mighty punch, but I was on cloud nine—until I realized my supposed Union Station-bound train was actually headed to San Bernardino and I was wearing socks of two different colors.
If you don’t have anything on your calendar and you want to get higher than LeBron James’ hairline, I suggest grabbing a $79 eighth of this wacky tobacky and calling it a day.
Available at Connected Cannabis Co., 2400 Pullman St., Ste. B, Santa Ana, (657) 229-4464; www.connectedcannabisco.com.
Jefferson Matthew VanBilliard is a leo that enjoys all things cannabis and is just trying his best. He let us know that although the desert will always be his home you can find him on Fourth St. in Santa Ana battle rapping teenagers or at the local high school where he coaches girls varsity volleyball without anyone’s permission.