Wednesday night's meeting of the Orange County Press Club at Jason's in Santa Ana, which featured a panel discussion of ex-Sheriff Mike Carona's indictment and the media's role in chronicling his messy reign as the county's top cop, was a hoot and a half. One highlight was my predecessor, Will Swaim, and the Reg's Frank Mickadeit doing a dramatic reading of the FBI tape transcripts of Carona's Aug. 13 conversation with buddy-turned-informant Don Haidl about all that “untraceable” money Haidl is alleged to have sent the sheriff's way.
Even better: Watching Republican kingmaker and Carona adviser Mike Schroeder coolly navigate wave upon wave of Liberal Media Elite scorn and schadenfreude by offering glimpses of the ex-sheriff's defense strategy: Haidl and George Jaramillo are a couple of lying scumbags, the U.S. attorney in charge of the case is overreaching and grandstanding, lather, rinse, repeat.
(Mike Schroeder: Disarmingly evil, or evilly disarming? Discuss!)
But lost in all this back-and-forth was perhaps the greatest tragedy of the entire Carona saga. Whether or not he is ultimately found guilty of the charges against him, he faces a far more daunting challenge:
The guy is going to have to rename his cock.
The old name no longer applies, and let's face it, “The Little Ex-Sheriff” just doesn't have same ring to it.
Now, Carona's got a lot on his mind right now, so it's probably a bit hard… er, difficult for him to get a handle on… sorry, deal with this issue. So I thought we'd let our readers come up with a spunky new moniker for the man's member.
So take your best shot in the comments section. Then we'll run a poll and see which new name stands tallest.
And don't worry, Mike. Like that top-flight legal advice you're getting these days, we're rendering this service pro bono.
I'm going to take a shower now. Happy Valentine's Day.