I'm sitting in my friend J's living roomm and I can't leave.
Two of Newport Beach's finest (well, two vehicles anyway, which could mean up to four cops) have pulled over a tan SUV in the tiny parking lot in which my car is parked. To try and depart now would involve some serious 187-style behavior.
Which reminds me: DO NOT DRIVE DRUNK, people. It's really not worth it. And if you do, don't drive drunk by yourself around Newport Beach after midnight. You're just begging, pleading on your hands and knees for punishment. But at least the jail's cozy until they transfer you to lockdown.
Again – DO NOT DRIVE DRUNK. There's taxis available. If you can't afford a taxi, hitch rides with friends or don't go drinking further than you can walk.
You don't want to end up before a judge at the mercy of any MADD spectator potentially taking notes in the audience, ready to publicize the behavior of any lawmaker or enforcer who's lenient on the .08-and-above set.