Do Not Want

Subtle hints, graciousness and social decorum are apparently a thing of the past.

If you want to appear as ungracious as possible this holiday season, there’s a solution to that—and it’s called

The website boasts an online, searchable-by-name gift registry for the picky female . . . and yes, the URL actually specifies gender. Because, apparently, only women are this fucking finicky.

It’s a fairly simple process: Sign up on and create your customized member page to, as the website instructs, “help you get exactly what you want.”

Established in San Diego by Adriana Padilla Mack and Marie Green, supposedly “stemmed from dinner conversations where frustrated females had, once again, received candles or fruitcake from a well-meaning gifter.”

There are five components to the SheWants experience. First up is the SheWants Wish List, on which women can cite whatever it is their hearts desire. (The press release’s suggestions include a designer pair of heels, a tropical vacation or even a donation to your favorite charity.) The idea here is to eliminate the guesswork.

Then there’s a section titled “She Wants Not,” which allows users to specify what it is they don’t want for Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever holiday you missed the point of. The press release assures us this is an eco-conscious gesture. also features a calendar, or what they call “Man’s Best Friend,” so males (or, in the words of the press release, “befuddled boyfriends and harried husbands”!) can find out not only what the women in their lives want, but also when to give it. You can also send out notification e-mails to “anyone you’d like, especially your husband.”

And yes, the site also has a blog on which Mack and Green offer tips on how to stay green while gifting. The main page currently features a butternut-squash ravioli recipe; a JPEG of celebrities in cuffed, oversized denim that looks like it was pinched from favorite fashion blog; and something with the headline “She Wants to Eat, Love, Shop . . .”—eat, pray, puke, ladies.

I really haven’t felt this insulted in a while, so cheers to you, SheWants. Thanks for perpetuating the image of the superficial female who can’t afford her own desired luxuries.

Though gift registries aren’t exactly a fresh idea, looking like a materialistic ingrate shouldn’t be part of the holidays—let’s just stick to gift receipts.


This column appeared in print as “Do Not”

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