Illustration by Bob AulYou and I work for the one of the biggest Internet porn companies in the world, and I used to love my job. It pays great, and it's easy: we just look at porn all day and send e-mails to webmasters introducing them to our program. Then you narced me off to the big boss, told him I was surfing the web and talking to friends. Message to you, moron: around here, that's called work. You should try it. Your Puritan work ethic—that is, spend most of your time worrying about what others are up to and then writing letters to the management—got you a big reward, didn't it? All that spying and you got moved to another row. And I'm still here. Long live rock N roll and porn!
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