Imagine walking into the Barnes & Noble at 7881 Edinger Ave. No. 110, Huntington Beach, and spotting the Prince of Fucking Darkness. Seeing Ozzy Osbourne in a book store is akin to watching your great aunt run around topless at Ozzfest. Shit like that just shouldn't happen. It's not healthy. Especially if you're prone to dangerous, heart-stopping flashbacks sparked by such unnatural occurrences.
But these are strange, perilous times, my friend, and Ozzy Osbourne is scheduled to be seated at the Huntington Beach Barnes & Noble from 7 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. on Wed., Feb 3. The metal god with the endearingly funny way of sounding permanently punch drunk will sign copies of I Am Ozzy, which hits shelves Jan. 25. Osbourne wrote the book with what you can only imagine was some serious fucking help from coauthor Chris Ayres.
After the jump: Osbourne's statement about his new book and surviving “a direct hit by a plane, suicidal overdoses, STDs.”