Outta Control Disco!

Illustration by Bob AulTo the asshole usher who said, “This is not a joke!” as you escorted my friends and me out of the reserved “Orange Circle” area (for which we each paid a $10 admission). Their crime: dancing to the Village People.

I'd like to point out a few things:

First, as my friend responded, it's the Orange County Fair, so it certainly is a joke.

Second, you were escorting us out for dancing to a disco band. Go ask the band members if they would rather play to a crowd of dancing people or a crowd of hicks staring blankly at the band from their seats.

Third, the theme of the fair is “Twist & Shout.” We twisted. We shouted. And we were told to stop.

If that's not a joke, I'm not sure what is. Except maybe this: we were told the reason we weren't allowed to dance is that security was scared dancing might cause “the situation” to “get out of control.” People might rush the stage. That was a pretty good joke, too.

And then there was this one: you yelled, “DON'T TOUCH ME!” Earth to moron: YOU were the one who put your hands on US. We didn't touch you. WE were dancing. YOU grabbed us and pulled us out against our will. To tell us not to touch you while you were holding on to us? Let's just take a minute to celebrate the fact that there is someone at the fair stupider than the racing pigs.

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