12:00 am: I'm about to arrive for the only 18+ event revolving around EDC, Bassrush Massive. Looking at the title I can already feel my heart violently pounding because the bass will be so deep. Bassnectar will be on as I walk in, followed by Knife Party, Datsik and Borgore. I'm ready to see what Vegas bassheads have to show for themselves.
12:30:While walking through the crowd, there are kandy rave girls, a furry dancing tiger, a couple of goth girls, masquerade mask-wearing tandems, over-sized foam cowboy hats, glowstick themed attire. The female population is basically divided into two camps: half-naked girls, and half naked girls that really need to put something on.
12:45 am: Bassnectar begins spinning at a slower BPM and plays a love-step remix of “Timestretch.”I see a couple holding hands while they shuffle together as if it were a slow dance at prom. Or maybe the psychedelics have already left them zombified.
1:00 am: This guy's costume looks like a laser tag uniform covered in neon colored furry balls, whiffle balls. Imagine all the time it must've taken to put this ensemble together, just for the simple pleasure of yelling the punchline “I'm rolling balls,” as he skates away. Yep, that was totally worth it, bro.
1:15 am: Knife Party is playing “Save the Word” (really? this is soooo EDC 2011)
1:30 am:Knife Party created the infamous “Internet friends,” (see? told ya we'd hear this one!) which is a ridiculously over-played electro crowd pleaser. This was a EDC reminder that will continually travel from stage to stage of the Las Vegas Motor Speedway hearing every summer dance floor song on repeat.
1:40 am: A guy that I'm sure found some Molly just me to kneel down — uhhh… — walking away now.
1:53 am :So, remember the guy that found Molly? Well he climbed over the riot crowd barricades, ran across the stage and jumped off of the side while falling into empty backstage space and walking back into the crowd. It's a wonder this guy hasn't succumbed to natural selection yet.
1:58 am: Everyone was shuffling to Knife Party's drum and bass climax. And then… silence, someone must've unplugged their CDJs.
3:01 am: A rapping Borgore hits the decks and–in a brilliant move of autopilot DJing– clicks “Levels” (Skrillex remix) on his itunes playlist. Someone shoot me now.