Not-So-Special Delivery

When you cheerily say, “You did such a good job; the food is so good—thank you!” when I put your food out, I really believe you mean it. After all, since the lunch is on an expense account (completely free for you), you obviously don’t feel the need to attach a tip on the invoice—after I do such a “good job.” I would like to make a request of you, kind sirs or ladies. If you are not going to tip me every once in a while, then don’t say, “Thank you!” It’s insulting. And please don’t go on about how good the food is. The company I work for does not feed its drivers. I have NEVER TASTED the food you are about to enjoy. If you have to choose between throwing a crumpled $5 bill on the floor for me to pick up when no one is looking and saying, “thank you,” then by all means, throw the damn money on the floor. It’s more honest about the way you think about “the help,” and it buys me two cups of coffee (with a tip for the barista). Thank you!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to “Hey, You!” c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at le*****@oc******.com.


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