[Hey, You!] U-Idiot

YouNre the thirtysomething man driving your companyNs work truck. Seeing as how youNre actually paid to drive, INm surprised you donNt know that a U-turn isnNt made by making a right, a mini U-turn, then a left. HereNs some more advice: DonNt do that with your eyes focused on mine, especially because INm a beautiful, underage girl. In conclusion? YouNre an idiot! Seriously! Who gets T-boned because theyNre checking out a chick (a young girl at that!) while making a blatantly negligent U-turn? You did not take your eyes off me the entire time you made that U-turn—which was a stupid way to make a U-turn, which even I know, even though INve never learned how to drive! I considered stopping to help, but it wouldNve been awkward. Plus, you might not want to know just how young I am.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to “Hey, You!” c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at le*****@oc******.com.


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