Bonus Joe Rogan quotes

Sometimes to fit an interview to available print space, you lose a few quotes — so here are a few more observations by Joe Rogan:

On Fear Factor:
“I would show up and go, ‘Really…come on! For real?’ And I couldn’t believe the people were willing to do some of the stuff! I mean, that was half of it. I was like, ‘They said they would do it?’ And it was mind-boggling to me. You would think that, to me, it would seem more normal because I was the host, but I couldn’t believe half the stuff we were doing while we were doing it.”


On working with Andy Dick on Newsradio:

“You know, you just don’t get a guy that’s that fucked up, and have him be, like, a functional dude. You don’t get a guy to be that funny the way Andy’s funny, there has to be something wrong with you.”

On why he's done with acting:
“Most sitcoms are murderous assaults on your attention span. You watch them and they’re just like really bad obvious jokes that you see coming a million miles away. It’s just so hard to create a Seinfeld or a Curb Your Enthusiasm or any of these shows. And to do a show like that, yeah, it would be great – but, man, I’ve got enough problems of my own. The last thing I want to do is hang around a bunch of actors, and deal with them and their problems. It’s not fun…cage fighters, believe it or not, most of ‘em are very friendly, you know. Most of ‘em have all their B.S. worked out, you know, they get it out in training, they get it out in the gym, they exorcise their demons in that way – and they don’t it in the ways that actors do – which is this constant running around craving for attention.”

Why he doesn't fight professionally:
“There’s only so many times you can get hit before your brain starts to feel the effects of it. It’s like, the way I equate it is to like the human brain is like an onion, and you can peel layers off the onion, and it still looks like an onion. But is it the same as it was before you started peeling layers off? Is it gonna work the same? It’s like, you know those days where you wake up and you’re like, ‘God, I feel like such a fucking retard today’? You know, it’s just one day, where for whatever reason your brain’s not firing the way it normally does – maybe you didn’t get enough sleep, maybe, whatever it is. What would it be like if that was the rest of your life, and you know that that is the rest of your life because you took too many shots to the head? That would fuckin’ suck – I mean, I’m very concerned with the quality of, of my mind, with the way my mind thinks, and my ability to perceive things, and my ability to have just a, a, clear view of life, and I would hate it if I was constantly struggling just because I’d decided to be involved in a sport that uses your brain as a target.”

On Carlos Mencia fans:
“When I was workin’ on Fear Factor, there was a bunch of people that were workin’ on the crew – and there were these guys, and they were nice guys, they were always friendly, and they’d be the dudes that collected wires afterwards, like the electrical wires, and wrapped ‘em up – and we were all sittin’ around one day and they were talkin’ about how great Mind of Mencia was, and it was like a Beavis and Butt-head episode. Like they would repeat what they had said that night and start laughin’ about it, and you were like, ‘Holy shit – there’s his fuckin’ audience right there, man.’ Just dopes. There’s plenty of dopes.”

“I get emails from retards. And they’re literally like the same person – it’s like everything’s misspelled, everything’s in all caps: ‘SO WUT’ – W-U-T, by the way, is the common spelling of ‘what’ – ‘SO WUT IF CARLOS SAID JOKEZ THAT OTHERS SAID. HE SAID IT BETTER. THAT’S WHAT A COMEDIAN IS ALL ABOUT: MAKING THINGS FUNNIER.” Like, that’s the common theme – that’s what the dumb people say over and over again I’m gonna publish some of these because they’re so mind-blowing that I’ve saved them – I’ve got this big file on my computer, it’s ‘Carlos fans,’ and if you look at it, you would swear – there’s like fifty of them – you would swear that these emails were all written by the same fucking person. But they’re not. I even saved their MySpace addresses, just so that people would realize that they are totally different people that are sending these things. It’s fuckin’ shocking, man. And there’s, there’s a bunch of these people, man, and they’re out there, you know – society and the culture that we live in has made it very easy to be a fucking moron and get through your day. You don’t have to understand cellular communication to have a cell-phone. You don’t have to understand, you know, what’s going on with the ozone layer and global warming to drive a car with a broken muffler. There’s no repercussions for anything. We’ve got this incredibly technologically advanced society that it’s made it very easy to be a fucking moron. You can just skate through. All this stuff’s done for you. All the work’s done for you — so you can exist, and you can have children, and you can go through your life and be a fucking idiot and be fine. The world is essentially Nerfed for retards – all the hard corners and sharp edges have all been covered up with cushioning, you know, and it’s very easy for these really, really dumb people who would have died off a thousand years ago in the caveman days, they would have never survived – you know, ten thousand years ago, these people, they would have been the ones that we kicked out of the tribe – but now, there’s a function for them: You know, hey, you need somebody to work at Jiffy Lube. You know, we need someone – so those jobs are put in place, and those Jiffy Lube people, they have babies, and their children have babies, and it goes on and on and on and it gets worse and worse and worse, and we’re in that situation right now: Where dumb people are radically outbreeding smart people. And when you see a show like Mind of Mencia and you see how popular it can be, that’s when you realize the chickens have come home to roost.”

On president Bush:
“If you look at pop culture, there’s a lot of evidence right there, right in front of our face, that, you know, people are way dumber than we, like, think we are – but the only way to find out how dumb we really are is to put a really dumb guy in power, and see if everybody freaks out. You know, and so far no-one’s really freaked out. I mean, he’s still in charge. He won his re-election by a landslide. You know, whether or not you believe that the voting’s not rigged, and whether or not you believe Diebold didn’t fuck with the machines, and whether or not you believe in voting machines in the first place, or counting polls, or how the Supreme Court counted the votes with Al Gore and all that other crap – but if you look at it, objectively, standing on the outside, you’ve got to go, ‘Wow, this is — are we really that stupid?’ And while this is all going on, I say that someone was looking at all of it, and seeing Bush and seeing how we react to him, and thinking, ‘We could go dumber.’ And they could go dumber. We could have a way-dumber president – it would be fine. We could have a president that comes out and says, ‘I don’t believe in evolution, I think the Earth is 10,000 years old. I don’t believe we came from monkeys, I know Jesus, he’s in my heart' – and people would go crazy. They would say, ‘Yes!

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