You want to rent an apartment from me? Here are a few tips (which you didn't follow): When you come to my apartments, please park where it says, “Customer Parking.” Don't park where it says, “Tenants Only”—you're not one yet. Don't glower at me when I tell you to park somewhere else—and then park across three spaces. Finally, if you REALLY want an apartment, don't give me a fake Social Security number, don't lie when you say you don't have a criminal record, and can you at least try to cover up your forearm-long tattoo proclaiming your gang affiliation to the world?
