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PHILLY STAKE
As a former journalist who is continually disappointed with the Times and, less often, with the Register, I started reading Phil Garlington's article with great interest (“My So-Called Life at The Orange County Register,” Jan. 12). But after wading through the first page of his bitter tirade, I gave up. This hodgepodge of petty insults, libels, erroneous grammar and generally abhorrent writing makes only one thing perfectly clear: why the Register canned his ass. When considering a tirade from another laid-off writer, just ask them to take a deep breath and count to 1,000.
David Spargur
via e-mail
I'm still roaring over Garlington's absolutely wonderful story on life at the Register. A brilliant piece of absolutely precise writing. Bravo—now get another gig.
Dianna Marder
The Philadelphia Inquirer
Philadelphia
Phil Garlington responds:I hope David Spargur won't blame theWeekly, whose editors cut some of the petty insults. The generally abhorrent writing is on purpose; the erroneous grammar is alternative.
MOVIE FÜHRER?
How can Jim Washburn conclude “Megaperplexed” with a call for a Movie Führer (Jan. 12)? Instead, how about you incite people to think, to take a chance, to support the actors and directors they see on TV and in the movies? The only real vote in this country is money. I vote with mine every chance I get. For $5 a head on any Tuesday night at Edwards Town Center, University or Village theaters, you can see a film that will never be mainstream and will probably never be shown outside New York, Los Angeles or Orange County. Come on, people—just get off your butts and take a chance. It's okay to do something that is not preapproved or pre-endorsed and make your own opinion.
Jim Clark
Tustin Ranch
BUY YOUR OWN AD, L. ROD
Channeled from hell: “Hello. It is I, the very deranged and very dead L. Ron Hubbard, and I'm pleased as punch your rag's been so supportive of my merry band of assholes known as Scientologists. Our tax-exempt status has enabled us to spread our insane bullshit worldwide. Check out the 'Clear Body-Clear Mind' newsletter you distributed for us last week—any idiot should recognize our recruiting tactics by now! On the front page, notice how the words 'Dianetics and Scientology' are hidden in ultratiny print on the bottom right-hand corner. As a hack science-fiction writer, I obviously had no qualifications to be considered a church leader or mental-health expert, but I'm still having the last laugh by putting one over on the oh-so-skeptical Weekly. I guess you could say, 'I still got it!' Keep up the good work, assholes!” (Transmission ended.)
L. Rod Robins
Lake Forest
A “clear” Weekling responds: L. Rod, L. Rod, L. Rod, tsk, tsk, tsk. So easy to ridicule, so hard to open your mind. Should that change, our office clay table is your office clay table. Oh, and bring the checkbook.
JESUS CHRIST!
To the Christians who want to clone Jesus: I guess it's not much of a prediction if you're going to make it happen yourself, eh (Paul Brennan's “Bring on the End Times,” Jan. 19)? Good luck. All the mechanics aside, you will have an interesting time verifying that the cells used for the cloning actually did come from Jesus. After all, there will be cells on those relics from everyone who has ever touched them. I can just see the mad (Christian) scientist now as he's counting cells and trying to decide which one is Jesus'. I suppose they'll have a peer review over a few beers and take a vote so they can at least say, “Two out of three scientists agree, yup, those cells are from Jesus, all right!”
You'd think that people of faith would just let this event unfold. But, no, they have no faith in God that events will go as predicted. Speaking for myself, I certainly have faith that everything will work out A-okay. Why not? Everything I need is already here. That makes life much simpler, doesn't it?
Scott Dunn
via e-mail
Brennan is right: it's pretty clear the clonejesus.com site is a fraud—or that its Christian backers don't know their own theology. Jesus' return to heaven after his death was bodily. That would mean there's no Jesus DNA to be found, unless these Christians have working for them the world's most amazing coprolitic paleontologist.
Doug Gardner
Mission Viejo
COMMON SENSEORSHIP
So Patrick Wagenbrenner thinks that the Weekly's act of paraphrasing letters in one Letters column as a joke constitutes “the ultimate censorship” (Letters, Jan. 12)? Gosh, I'll bet all those people who, over the years, have been tortured and/or murdered for what they wrote would have been relieved to know that it could have been worse.
Steve Omlid
Costa Mesa
