On Saturday, while you're sleeping in or making a run to Trader Joe's for vegan pizza, there'll be more important things going on in the world. Yeah, it's Kim Kardashian's wedding! We know you could probably care less, but these multimillion-dollar Hollywood weddings only happen once every…month?
Since this wedding will be televised in a two-day E! event, we're sure some big musical heavyweights will be performing (or at least some well-known DJ will be mounted on a huge platform) at the $29-million estate in Montecito which is where the wedding is being held. And since we already have some inclination of what the wedding playlist might include, we definitely know what songs will NOT be making the cut:
5. Christina Aguilera “FUSS”
Rumor has it that the title of this song stands for “Fuck U Scott Storch,” a not-too-subtle dig at record producer, (allegedly) reformed coke fiend and Kardashian family friend Scott Storch.
4. Theme song from “Can't Stop the Music” or anything by The Village People
Back in 1980, Kim's stepdad Bruce Jenner tried to parlay his Olympic glory into an acting career. Aside from a few campy (if enjoyable) episodes of Chips, Bruce also starred in the disco-themed movie Can't Stop the Music alongside the Village People. Anticipated as the next Saturday Night Fever, unfortunately Jenner's film arrived just as the disco genre was suffering a nationwide backlash. Budgeted at a then-enormous $20 million, Can't Stop the Music earned negative reviews and reportedly earned barely $2 million. Not only did the film seal the coffin of disco, it also doomed Jenner's acting career, beginning his decades-long spiral into infomercials and embarrassing TV hosting gigs. We'd say it's a safe bet that anything recorded by the Village People will be off the playlist.
3. Anything by Ray J
Sex tape. Nuff said.
2. Paris Hilton “Stars Are Blind'
Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, once glued at the hip, are friends no more. And even if they were still on good terms, this song is a complete buzz kill.
1. Kim Kardashian “Jam (Turn It Up)”
We might be one of the five people who actually like this song. Seriously. But we highly doubt that the Kardashians will want to re-live the horror that they, and millions of others, faced when this tracked debuted. (Though if there's an open bar there's a small possibility that the DJ will play this song, to at least show how Kim has evolved since way back when…in March.)