The John Mayer interview published in the March edition of Playboy will go down as perhaps the greatest display of douchery in the history of pop culture. The media immediately jumped on such deplorable statements as “nigger pass,” “my dick is sort of like a white supremacist” and sex with Jessica Simpson “was like crack cocaine.” But there's so much more! Here are 10 quotes, in addition to the toxic bombs previously mentioned, that will make you want to throw a rock at Mayer's strangely elevated hairdo.
1. “By the way, pornography? It's a new synaptic pathway. You wake up in the morning, open a thumbnail page, and it leads to a Pandora's box of visuals. There have probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before I got out of bed.”
2. “When I watch porn, if it's not hot enough, I'll make up backstories in my mind. My biggest dream is to write pornography.”
3. “I can invent things really well. I mean, I have unbelievable orgasms alone.”
4. Playboy: Masturbation for you is as good as sex? “Absolutely, because during sex, I'm just going to run a filmstrip. I'm still masturbating.”
5. “Early in my career, when I was 19 or 20, I'd meet presidents of record companies and refused to give them my demos. I'd say, 'We'll see each other again sometime.'”
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Mayer talked about finding the “Joshua Tree of vaginas.”
6. “I always say, 'Turning me down is the new sleeping with me.'”
7. “At this point, before I can have sex I need to know somebody. Unless she's a 14 out of 10.”
8. Playboy: Do you do something different in bed than other guys? “It's all about geometry. I'm sort of a scientist; it's about being obtuse with an angle.”
9. “I grabbed [Perez Hilton] and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I have ever put on anybody–almost as if I hated fags.”
10. “So now I'm going to experiment with 'fuck you.' In 2010 my goal is to get more mentions in Us Weekly than ever.”
Want more of this ass clown? Click for entire interview.
