Sometimes it's hard to be a Wonder Woman.
You're a positive female role model, you starred in your own TV show, and you've saved the world at least a dozen times. But the minute you change your “signature look,” every hypocritical jerk who said you looked like a slut in your old star-spangled swimsuit can't wait to go all Simon Cowell on your pants-wearing ass.
Thanks to DC Comics deciding to change her costume, Wonder Woman hasn't had this many people talking about her since Joss Whedon's failed attempt at writing and directing a feature film on the Amazon (or since we gave a shout out to Lynda Carter's patriotic boobs). Because the Intertubez encourages–nay, demands–that people post their ignorant, ill-considered and uninformed opinions as fast as they can enter them into their Word Press accounts, this super fashion faux pas has been an exquisite showcase for the finest examples of head-up-the-ass typing–or in one case, broadcasting–the 21st century has ever seen.
Here are the five stupidest reactions to Wonder Woman's new costume that I found online.
Writer Nikki Finke
Web site Deadline Hollywood
Sample rant “Of course, it took a bunch of men to ruin her. … So let me start the campaign: FREE WONDER WOMAN!”
Why it's stupid Free Wonder Woman from what? Having to wear pants? And it's always a bunch of stupid men who keep screwing up this admirable female character…who was created by a man. Oh, Nikki Finke, if scientists could turn your lonely bitterness, egomania and gross (almost comical) obsession with overstatement, they could power downtown Tokyo for 75 years.
2. “Superhero Style: Disappointed with Wonder Woman's new look, Imogen Fox suggests more suitable costumes for the modern superhero”
Writer Imogen Fox
Web site The Guardian
Sample rant “Leather hotpants couldn't be more 2010. … Plus, the lace-up fly doubles as her Lasso of Truth.”
Why it's stupid If you slam the new look as not being stylish enough, make sure your contribution isn't embarrassing. This is how I envision Mila Kunis' character from That '70s Show would look like in the 1980s as a licensed Jane Fonda Workout instructor. And don't get me started on the Superman redesign.
Writer Phyllis Chesler
Web site David Horowitz's News Real Blog
Sample rant “Wonder Woman's change of costume is but a small part in this real-life drama: The sunset of the West. It is not a comic book.”
Why it's stupid The writer bases her outlandish thesis–the unAmericanizing of Wonder Woman and subsequent destruction of the United States itself–on unfounded speculation cited in a Fox News article that says the new costume is part of an effort to “globalize” Wonder Woman in advance of a movie slated for 2013. In case you're wondering, there is no Wonder Woman movie set for 2013. That information, though unattributed in the article, was probably found at that bastion of accuracy known as the Internet Movie Database. IMDb also says the next James Bond film is set for a 2011 release. How's that working out?
Broadcasters Justine Bateman and Kelly Cutrone
Sample rant (Cutrone) “For me, she just went from Paris to Poughkeepsie. I just think it's the saddest thing I've seen in my whole life.”
Why it's stupid Cutrone's suggests that DC should have enlisted actual fashion designers to tackle the Wonder Woman makeover. Doesn't she remember the recent Superheroes: Fantasy and Fashion exhibit at New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art? I remember it, largely because it showcased outfits like this atrocious one. Kudos, however, to Bateman for going to a comic book store and talking with actual fans.
5. Anyone who bitches about how terrible the new costume is but hasn't purchased a Wonder Woman comic book in the past 25 years
Why it's stupid If all of the people who have complained about the desecration of an American icon actually read her book, Wonder Woman would be the most popular comic title around…instead of only selling around 25,000 copies a month. My question to all you fair-weather fans: If you're so invested in Wonder Woman because she's your favorite character, how come you don't invest with your dollars? If you're raging that men are destroying a feminist icon, where was your praise when female creators like Jodi Picoult, Gail Simone and Nicola Scott were doing wonderful work on the series? My answer: Like the fanboy who sexually fetishizes Wonder Woman's skimpy traditional costume, the feminist and patriot use that same outfit as an empty vessel and fill it with their personal politics, empowerment and nationalism. Fan entitlement is an ugly phenomena, and it only gets uglier when these so-called “fans” leverage it to forward self-righteous agendas.
Wonder Woman's new look isn't raping your childhood memories of the TV show. Nor is a pair of pants devaluing a powerful role model for girls in the 21st century. The quintessential look for Wonder Woman–the one with the red-and-gold bustier and stars-on-a-blue-field bikini bottoms–will still adorn T-shirts, posters, Underoos and other merchandise. The only change you'll see will be in the comic book, and as I've pointed out, the majority of the outraged aren't reading it anyway.
But if you are a fan of the comic and upset with the Wonder Woman's new look, you're in trouble. If there's one thing the comic book industry has proven, it's that when it makes cataclysmic changes to mainstay characters–say, a new costume for Spider-Man or the deaths of Superman and Captain America–those changes last forever.