How to…

Photo by Mike McGillVinnie Capizzi, 22, insurance agent, Anaheim Hills

You want a light girl. How light is up to you, but I don't think you want to be hoisting a 180-pound girl on your shoulders for half an hour. Once she's up there, the most important thing is to take hold of her legs really firmly. That way, you can kind of steer her whichever way you want her to go. And you want to hold her down on your shoulders firmly so you can stop her from leaning back or going side to side and throwing you off-balance. Then it's really important to keep moving, especially if you're standing on a sand bar in Havasu. If you stop moving, you're going to sink, and then if someone hits you, boom, you go down. If you've ever been in a mosh pit, it's the same principle: go with the flow, and be prepared to get bumped. Another thing: you don't want to have a girl who's raising her shirt and flashing the crowd. It sounds cool, but it's more headache than it's worth. The minute she starts flashing, guys are going to come at you trying to grab her and blasting you with water guns because guys are perverts. And when she puts her top down, they'll throw beer cans at you. When you're ready to put her down, it's very important to never, NEVER tell the girl you're tired. She'll think you're weak and that she's fat. Just say, “Hey, let's go for a swim” or, “Let's grab a beer” or, “C'mon down, I'd like to talk to you.” That one's good because you can't really have a conversation with a girl on your shoulders. Their legs keep pinching your ears.

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