Hinns Hair Habulous!

I was driving past Trinity Broadcasting's Costa Mesa headquarters, wondering how anyone could not believe in God when the Almighty can inspire men to build and maintain such fabulous monuments to his love and mercy. Kudos to the Benny Hinn hairdressing construction team. . . . By the way, hasn't Trinity's Paul Crouch's Versace shirts looked especially radiant these days? An insider on the Praise the Lord set let me in on the secret: buying lots of new Versace shirts all the time. . . . Low-fat mayonnaise: Does it get any better? . . . The more I think about the movie The Cider House Rules, the less I like it. . . . I can't say the same about the film's star Charlize Theron who has a wonderful Miss Kim Novak, Miss Sandra Dee quality about her. . . . Ditto Lou Sheldon. . . . I guess the reason we're drawn to people like Charlize and Lou is that they possess a magic that's missing from most of our lives. . . . That's sad. I remember when we all not only had our own magic but also could keep it on the porch, unchained, and not worry about anyone taking it. . . . Nowadays, you have to keep your magic in a storage locker or purchase a specially designed Magic Club. Tragic? You bet. . . . For my money, you can never have enough two-way tape. . . . If you pin me down for my favorite song of all time, it would have to be the Pocket Clowns' lilting “Morning Wood.” I never, ever get tired of listening to it, though for the life of me, I couldn't tell you what it's about. . . . Favorite loaf? Meat. . . . Seems to me every time I hear about serial killers or assassins, they usually have three names: James Earl Ray, John Wayne Gacy, Charles “Charlie” Manson. Can't something be done about that? . . . And what's with Sirhan Sirhan? . . . Saw Mr. Paul Anka on Larry King the other day. He looked great, like he could give Benny Hinn a run for his money. . . . Though I don't think anyone could ever outrun Benny for money. . . . Just kidding, Vita-B. . . . I know Nelson Mandela gets a lot of credit for the way things worked out in South Africa. But I have it on good authority that eventually, it will come out that another key player was P.W. Botha. But the media doesn't want you to know about that. . . . Ditto Gary Player. . . . I hear a lot of people complaining about the upcoming presidential election. But trust me on this one, gang: this election is important. . . . Don't let the title fool you: The Great Gatsby is a good book. . . . And don't be scared by Moby Dick. It's not what you think. . . . Let me get this straight: if you kill a person with a gun and call it first-degree murder, you're either put in prison for life or put to death. But if you write a movie about a guy killing another guy with a gun and call it American Beauty, you win an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. . . . That's what happens when you have a Democrat in the White House . . . Hey, producers of Touched by an Angel: more Angel, less touching. . . . If I just had one wish, it would be to know conclusively that Donald Bren knows how much everyone appreciates all the work he's done on our behalf. Thanks, Don! And hey, enough with the Garbo bit. Come on out and play!

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