[Hey, You!] Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, a young, struggling couple lived in a dilapidated Costa Mesa triplex, which the landlord had let fall into disrepair. On the wall of the front-porch garden hung an ornate sign that read, “Once Upon a Time.” After devoting 10 hours to tending to the landscaping needs and planting spring flowers, all the two wanted to do was enjoy the bit of magic they had hoped to create in their limited space. They took a step outside to survey all that their sweat and toil had amounted to when they noticed their plaque was missing. (It was purchased for $3 at Goodwill, by the way.) So this goes out to the desperate person who felt compelled to steal this little piece of a fairy tale we seldom get to live: To you, I give the royal flaming bird, which will surely karmically burn you from the inside out. I highly recommend you read up on your fairy tales so you'll have a clue as to what's coming to you. Thank you for volunteering to play the villain in this modern-day tale. Since you are evil enough to steal a sign that says, “Once Upon a Time,” I sure hope you have the panache to make it worthy of a read.

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