Hey, You! I'll Drink to That

We were the newlyweds looking to toast our marriage; y'all were the staff at Las Brisas. When we told one of you about our nuptials, you replied you had been divorced twice. Then you introduced us to your fellow bartender—divorced after seven years. He then introduced us to a waitress—divorced after three years. We get that marriage is hard, and more than half of them end—but way to be douche chills on our special day. May all of you only find true love with dildos and Tube8.

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