If there's one mash-up artist we at the Weekly adore, it's Girl Talk. Who else could have given us an appreciation for elements of songs we wouldn't have noticed without their being re-contextualized, while simultaneously tapping into our nostalgia and rocking a party all night long? While we would gladly follow him to the ends of the Earth/Internet, as his projects get more and more ambitious, we've also considered what it would take for us to grow concerned. Even though we wouldn't dream of putting any creative barricades on him (especially not tomorrow night when he comes to the Observatory in Santa Ana), here's five mash-up ideas we would advise against Girl Talk, or anyone, attempting. Thanks to the nifty You Tube Doubler, you can play these songs side by side to hear the madness for yourself!
“Invincible Angels” (Michael Jackson's Invincible vs. The City of Angels soundtrack)
We at the Weekly take a very bold pro-Michael Jackson stance. We love the man's catalog. That in mind, his work is one of the few of which we're exceptionally protective. It's not that he's a musical sacred calf, but rather his albums were created with the assistance of the absolute best the businesses, with little room for improvement. With so many other artists out-there just waiting to be mashed-up, it's time we leave Jacko alone.
“A Trip to the Johns Megamix” (John Lennon's “Imagine” vs. John Mayer's “Your Body is a Wonderland” )
Gimmicks in music aren't necessarily a bad thing, especially in the realm of the mash-up. That said, if you're going to combine the work of two artists under some clever common denominator, it has to be a connection at least as entertaining as a good pun. Our “A Trip to the Johns” is an example of one that doesn't cut the mustard.
“For Just My Dawgs” (Waka Flocka Flame's “For My Dawgs” with Sounds Only Dogs Can Hear)
We at the Weekly are also against animal cruelty. While the idea of appealing to untapped markets outside our species seems brilliant on paper, it could cause serious pain to our furry friends. If you're like us, you play your Waka Flocka Flame at max volume at every opportunity. If mixed with sounds at too high of a pitch for us to pick up, we could unknowingly cause our canines and other animals serious pain. It's not worth the risk.
"Star Spangled Sparkly White Banner” (Jimi Hendrix's "Star Spangled Banner” with Dentist Drills)
Eventually, we'll run out of songs to mash-up and resort to attempting to integrate common everyday sounds into our music to explore fresh new territory. By combining the sound of a dentist drill with Jimi Hendrix's famous cover of the "Star-Spangled Banner,” it would only…actually, if any of you reading this could actually pull this off into something that actually makes dentist drills sound appealing, that would be incredible. But not unlike a real dentist drill, it would require an absolute expert to handle it.
The Shirley Temple Black Album (Jay-Z's The Black Album vs. Shirley Temple)
If there's one piece of music we at the Weekly would like to put a permanent mash-up moratorium on, It's Jay-Z's The Black Album. While its existence was infinitely important to mash-up culture, namely with the rise of Danger Mouse's The Grey Album, it's been absolutely remixed and re-remixed to death. From Weezer to Radiohead, many people have already put their own spin on it, and after nine years the well is so dry, it couldn't sustain a cactus. No matter how great your pun is, it's time to move on.