As reported earlier, Trent Reznor is adapting the Nine Inch Nails concept album Year Zero as a science fiction television show for HBO and BBC.
After the jump are five potential story arcs for the Year Zero television show, updated and reimagined for 2010.
Episode Title: “You've Got To Refudiate The Positive”
Arc: Things look grim when the nation's new Secretary of Education, Sarah Palin, begins to whitewash school textbooks across the country. To add insult to illiterate injury, Miss Alaska also insists on including numerous made-up non-words in the texts including “refudiate,” “Americanical,” and “levijohnstonisaprick.” The educated elite emerges from its underground bunker to attack the establishment armed only with an arsenal of proper grammar and correct spelling.
Episode Title: “Which Witch is Which?”
Arc: When the Office of Religious Enforcement's Grand Wizard, Christine O'Donnell, issues a heavy-handed decree making Christianity the official religion of the nation, Muslims and Jews form a radical rebellion to fight off all things Christian. Known as “Witch Hunt 2.0: This Time It's Just,” the government sends Christian spies into the underground disguised as Muslims. The spies soon find themselves captured, however, when they continually mispronounce “salaam alaikum” as “salami Lakers.”
Episode Title: “'Stached”
Arc: As the number of citizens convicted of anti-Americanism continues to grow, the government begins to “tag” all convicts with a tattoo that is instantly recognizable: Hitler's mustache. When Axe, the underground's best tattoo removal artist gets kidnapped, the resistance is forced to add onto their mustache tattoo to avoid being caught. Most men opt for the “Wilford Brimley,” while many women choose the “Rollie Fingers.”
Episode Title: “The Undergay Railroad”
Arc: When a law is passed making male homosexuality illegal (but not lesbianism because everyone knows that's hot), the country's homosexuals begin a long trek north to what they refer to as “Gaytopia”: Canada. But when the government realizes that gay men play a huge part in the industries of professional swimming, Mike's Hard Lemonade and “America's Next Top Model,” President Beck urges gays to “…hop back over that northern border. We won't even shoot at you like we do the Mexicans.”
Episode Title: “From My Tiny Baby Hands”
Arc: To help in the war against the resistance, the government begins arming the children of parents who have been deemed “totally awesome Americans.” Faced with a moral dilemma, the rebels must decide to either kill children or be killed by them. Thankfully, the battle is averted when the children and the resistance sign the secret Ice Cream N Toys Pact (I.C.T.P.) of 2025.