Eight Days

Thurs/Sept 30

Come onna my house, I give you beer and bingo. Why for would I do such a thing? Because Tall Drink of Water Cher Greenleaf and I are hosting the debate-watching party with the mostest in a fundraiser for Kerry-Edwards: Smart and Pretty. So skip the Laguna Democratic Club, and that nice one in Tustin, and come to beautiful downtown Santa Ana. Bring your checkbook because we're sending all the dough we rake in to the meanest, nastiest 527 we can find. Doors open 5:30 p.m. $10 and up. Chez Commie Girl, call (714) 550-5920 or email Re*****@co******************.com for location.

Fri

People say The Motorcycle Diaries is all about politics when it should be about Che Guevara boning spicy peasant chicks all across South America. But go see it anyway: it's the Communistthing to do! Call for times. Edwards South Coast Village, 1561 W. Sunflower Ave., Santa Ana, (800) 326-3264 ext.162.

Sat

I can't describe A-Café! An Adventure in Social Suburban Anarchy!any better than our senior politics-listings correspondent, Nick Schou, and so I quote. “The press release for this mysterious gathering includes innocuous-sounding words like 'refreshments N drinks,' 'social hour,' and 'art,' but also obvious Pinko codewords like 'radical literature,' 'radical vegan chocolate cookies,' and 'acoustic instruments.' Insurgent training includes games like capture the flag, dodge ball, red rover, combat kissing and water balloon fights.” And it's in Tustin! How cute is that? 2 p.m. Peppertree Park, 1st St. between B St. N C St., Tustin, www.deadpandistro.com.

Sun

La Dolce Vita's Sunday charity bash is looking like one of the better galas of the year. Not only does it benefit The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation instead of one more shindig for the Orangewood orphans, but it also features world renowned Afro-Cuban sensation Ricardo Lemvo and Makina Loca. Need more? How about dancing, auctions and an exquisite four-course meal prepared by executive chef Franco Barone of Antonello Ristorante. 6-11 p.m. $150. La Dolce Vita, South Coast Plaza Village, Bear St. N Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, (714) 938-1393.

Mon

When's the last time you read a book? Might I suggest James Carville's new one, Had Enough? A Handbook for Fighting Back? It's funny and smart, and chock-full-of-hate. Why? Because we've had enough!

Tues

Now you can join the Laguna Beach Democratic Club, since it didn't occur to me and Cher to have a Vice-Presidential Debate Party. You know who's smart and pretty? John Kerry and John Edwards. It's true. And KE-04 should feel free to steal our new slogan. Bring snacks, 6 p.m. Old Pottery Shack Building, 1212 S. Coast Hwy., Laguna Beach, (949) 497-7027.

Wed

Tenbyten Performance Lab. Ten artists at 10 minutes each. This time we've got music, poetry, music, film, theater, music, music, and experimental music (times two). Oh, and I forgot a poetry in there too. It's good for you, and it doesn't last that long! 8-10 p.m. $8. Koo's Art Café, 540 E. Broadway, Long Beach, (562) 491-7584; www.koos.org.

Thurs/Oct 7

Be sure to dress in stretchable (and breathable) fabrics when you bust your interpretive dance/hippie spins at Ozomatli. There's not a sweatier, more joyous concert out there short of P-Funk. And just like P-Funk, I bet Ozomatli would smoke you out too! 8 p.m. All ages. Call for tickets. Vault 350, 350 Pine Ave., Long Beach, (888) 80-VAULT; www.vault350.com.

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