Eight Days

Thurs/July 8 Needing a little swank with your evening? Me, too! Come on over to the Continental then, for the chic libations, the ambient ambiance, the incredibly rude serving wench and the experience of the Helmut Stein Experience. I'll be on my death bed still bitching about that waitress—and also? The chick from the Hootenanny who wouldn't give me my tickets that time and I had to go see Van Halen for the Fourth of July instead—with the guy from Extreme instead of Sammy or Dave. Jesus, I'm hung over. 9 p.m. Free. 21+. Continental Room, 115 W. Santa Fe Ave., Fullerton, (714) 526-4529.

Fri Everybody's favorite booker, Sean Striegel, gives our friends the Cadillac Tramps some love. You remember the Tramps, right? They were almost really huge (they once had to play the Doll Hut under a fake name!), and then Gabby went to the pen. Fuckin' Gabby. Anyhoo, Tramps shows are fun—just make sure you've got some bruisers with you to hold the fights back from your face. The fights? They will be fierce. I heard the chick from the Hootenanny works here now. I bet she's actually really nice, but maybe not. With Bar Room Heroes, Bullets 'n Octaneand The Skulls. 8 p.m. $15. All ages. House of Blues, 1530 S. Disneyland Dr., Anaheim, (714) 778-2583. Sat Can't get enough gay? Me, too! How's about stopping by to pay tribute to Men Aliveas they pay tribute to Legends N Divasincluding Sinatra, Celine, Bette, Babs, Elvis, Judy, Madonna, Elton, Aretha and more. Dude, Sinatra's not even a chick! 3 N 8 p.m. $20-$40. Irvine Barclay Theatre, 4242 Campus Dr., Irvine, (949) 854-4646; www.thebarclay.org. Sun I want to give you some inspirational words or something, or give a nice little capsule indictment of President Duh, but fuck it. I'm still hung over. Did I tell you why? Oh, well. It's probably not that interesting, even though it does involve pole dancing. Anyway, there's a Kerry Fairin Dana Point today. It's an “old-fashioned, all-American-style picnic with burgers, hot dogs, chili bake-offs, crafts, cotton candy, games” to learn about John Kerry. Who's John Kerry, you ask? He's running for president. Of the country. More important: Dude, who bakes chili? 1 p.m. Sea Canyon Park, 33093 Santiago Dr., Dana Point, (949) 494-8425.Mon David Kinwaldpays tribute to Sinatra. Do you suppose he's also gay? If so, maybe I should ask him out. 6 p.m. Free. 21+. La Cave, 1695 Irvine Ave., Costa Mesa, (949) 646-7944. Tues Go see Fahrenheit 9/11. If you've already seen it, go see Dodgeball. It's hilarious, although it's sadly lacking in Owen Wilson—perhaps because they couldn't fit his standard-orgy-clause contract into the classic underdog script. Theaters everywhere.Wed Have you ever noticed that by the time I get to, like, Wednesday and Thursday, I'm so freaking bored with this column that all I can come up with is, like, “Do this”? And I'm usually not even hung over when I write it. So do this: go join An Evening With Huell Howserat the Newport Beach Public Library. Howser is the host and producer of California's Gold on KCET. 7 p.m. Free, but tickets are required. Newport Beach Central Library, Friends Meeting Room, 100 Avocado Ave., Newport Beach, (949) 644-3296, ext. 2; www.newportbeachlibrary.org. Thurs/July 15 And do this: go to the OC Weekly's Decadenceparty. It has DJ Danieland “delectable food, exotic drinks and remarkable businesses.” Doesn't that sound nice? Last year, it was full of languid Newport snobs, and I literally had a woman look down her nose at me and ask pointedly, “Who do you know?” Awesome! I'm totally in! 7:30-11 p.m. $20. Radisson Newport, 4545 Macarthur Blvd., Newport Beach, (714) 550-5966.

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