You are the handsome man with a promising future—and better yet, you’re a top! (Or at least that’s what your profile states.) I was infatuated on our date; it was a romance I hadn’t experienced with another man since my freshman year of university. We enjoyed a late-night talk at Huntington Beach, then beers and Mexican food afterward. You sent me a long text the next day informing me that you just wanted to be friends because you suddenly had a “boyfriend.” You told me my real-life tone and texts were turn-offs—then you ghosted me. I suspect it’s because your medical degree is so far up your ass you don’t see the value in my bachelor of arts. Moral of the rant: Text me (I’m growing my online presence).
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to firstname.lastname@example.org.