Don't Shoot the Messenger

About a year ago, in the salad days of my eager cub-scribe-y-ness, I wrote a little article about the 2005 National Professional Paintball Leaguer tournament. It wasn't anything exciting; just a wee bit o' sump'n sump'n about what a professional paintball tournament might look like to someone from the outside of the game. You know, the whole gun and ammo sales, the kids using their nifty war lingo, the casualty count, the lack of any normal social skills . . . stuff like that. And flattered as I might have been over the prospect of attending the tournament last year, it held no cigar to the overflowing love the 'ballers showed me on the Planet LAPCO blog. Blog admin Colin T posted my article first [Mon., April 4, 2005, 1:08 p.m. Subject: “Happiness Is a Warm Paintball Gun”]. The ensuing hour and eight minutes went a little something like this:

Ryan_Page [1:16 p.m.]: “now thats just great for paintball media. children wandering between the injured like children of war? blood like paint? crotch shots? blow your head clean off? yay!”

ColinT [1:25 p.m.]: “She was a bad reporter. Obviously her first piece on Paintball. She didn't approve. Tough—Keep your scatalogical thoughts to yourself—lady”

Ryan_Page [1:27 p.m.]: “was that second line to me or her?”

ColinT [1:40 p.m.]: “Are you a 'lady'?”

Ryan_Page [1:46 p.m.]: “well. ryan is a guy's and girl's name. i never knew who you were talking about.”

Thepaintedballer [1:53 p.m.]: “I never heard of a chick named ryan.”

Gotin Drachenhart [2:01 p.m.]: “Colin, you are going to give me more gray hairs and high blood pressure with all these bad articles about our sport!!!!! oh, and ya I've never heard of a chick named Ryan.”

Ryan_Page [2:16 p.m.]: “well, according to a full list of names, their origins, meanings, and the sex(s) they are for, ryan had male and female.”

Well, there it is folks, the reason (or lack thereof) to go to this year's NPPL tournament at the Huntington Beach Pier, 417 Main St., Huntington Beach, (714) 536-9050; Fri.-Sun. Call for times. Free.

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