It appears that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have reached a divorce settlement that will keep their 6-year-old daughter Suri from the clutches of Xenu. Here's hoping that Katie can elude church spies and get on with her life, as folks in Orange County have done after escaping the organization.
All that is a lame way of getting into a post about an item that fell into our yellow journalism-stained hands here at your favorite infernal rag: a Scientology of Orange County magazine celebrating the grand opening of the Ideal Org in downtown Santa Ana, where yours truly was…wait for it…followed by a church spy.
Now to loosely tie this to all the TomKat news that has bored thinking people to tears for the last two weeks, I took a gander at Page 2 of the magazine — which features several crowd shots from last month's event, an article by L. Ron Hubbard (more on that in another post), and a photo of the “See a Thought” machine (more on that in another post) — and noticed that the fallen couple simply did not commit themselves fully to all the church has to offer:
“If you ever wanted to tackle the barriers you face — whether in relationships, at work, or elsewhere — now is the time. If you have ever wanted to reach your full potential and enjoy true happiness, we offer you the guidance, materials and services which deliver just that.”
Why, they could have been the new Adam and Eve, had they hopped into the Ideal Org in our fair county:
“As L. Ron Hubbard intended, our new Church marks the creation of a new civilization, where Man is free to rise to greater heights and achieve the glory of spiritual freedom.”
But apparently not free to criticize Scientology? Uh-oh.