Cypress Goes Cultist

Cypress has followed Westminster's lead in officially embracing the occult.

The Cypress City Council voted in a perplexing 2-1 majority to display “In God We Trust” in council chambers. Aww, poor Cypress – only three council members? Iddle biddle widdle council, so cute! Actually two council members abstained, claiming they didn't want to give views on religious matters. And yet they're willing to passively endorse the phrase? Cowards.

The phrase is a reference to the fact that followers of the cult of Jesus Christ, himself a Jew, have faith in a divine and loving God. They apparently don't read their Scripture very well because their god is actually a petty, spiteful, jealous and demanding piece of work. But I digress.

One wonders how many more county cities will prostrate themselves before Christian idols or slogans. Oops, still digressing.


The phrase “In God We Trust” was added to American coins during the Civil War, among other reasons so that in case the war ended in mutual annihilation, future antiquarians would not identify America as a heathen nation. Because apparently all that would survive would be our coins. How positively Roman.

The phrase was adopted as a national motto in 1956 during the Cold War. It seems E Pluribus Unum had never been officially declared the motto, and whilst we battled the Soviet Evil Empire it became obvious that a nation without a motto was, well, a limp-dick nation.

In 2008, with a shockingly diverse America as contrasted with 1956 (or 1861), it is painful to think that local government can still intentionally insult so many of its constituents. Cultists say, “Well if you don't believe in God, then why does it matter?” Tell me, how would you feel if you went to speak at a City Council meeting, only to see “In Flying Spaghetti Monster We Trust” emblazoned on a banner behind those elected to represent your interests?

We have “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” for homosexuals in the military – can't we have it for cultists in public office as well?

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