Coachella By The Minute, Weekend Two


1:32 p.m. Overheard walking into Coachella: “Did you hear there’s going to be a Prince tribute tonight? All the lights are going to be purple.” (Kim Conlan)

2:25 p.m. Mavis Staples: “Can you whip??! Can you naynay??! That’s what you call the granny naynay!”(KC)

3:51 p.m. “Keep on rockin’ in the free world!” says a monotoned security guard through a megaphone on the yellow path. (Denise De La Cruz)

4:10 p.m. Baggy, denim overalls on shirtless men seems to be some sort of trend this year. I call it hillbilly chic. (DDLC)

5:17 p.m. Dude old enough to be an AARP member with cargo shorts on is getting un-rhythmically down to Ibeyi. A reminder to not take the brown acid. (DDLC)

5:55 p.m. Christine & the Queens is not only an amazing performance with stellar vocals and dance choreography, but lead singer Héloïse Letissier is also making me ponder gender roles as she is quite androgynous and her backup dancers are smooth moving, attractive, and yet slightly effeminate young men. (KC)

6:17 p.m. I spot some guy with a gas mask buying a beer, I’m hoping he forgets to take it off before he takes a sip. (DDLC)

6:25 p.m. Had some great veggie tamales with some young women celebrating their college graduation at Coachella. One of them is really excited to get a “badge and a gun” after graduating. (Candace Hansen)

6.54 p.m. Two men almost slam into each other on the polo fields because they’re both walking and snap chatting. Instead, they cross diagonally. Phew, close one. Remember folks, don’t walk & snap! (DDLC)

7:05 p.m. Just as I begin to wonder where all the radical badass feminists are, I see a pair of bushy, brown armpits courtesy of the girl behind the counter at Spicy Pie giving absolutely no fucks. (DDLC)

7:40 p.m. The couple behind me try to get their baby to dance to A$AP Rocky. The baby immediately starts crying. (DDLC)

10:04 p.m. Savages!!! Their sound is on point, that ’70s Ludwig is fucking killer, and that guitar tone – omg. Best band of Friday for sure. (CH)

10:40 p.m. Electronic dance music is fucking boring, unless it’s Gravy Train. If Coachella has the power to reunite Guns N’ Roses, they certainly have the power to reunite Gravy Train. (CH)

10:45 p.m. While hiding out in the lounge area from the raging wind, we spot the members of The Last Shadow Puppets just relaxing in their RV area just over the wrought iron fence. (KC)

11:30 p.m. We [OC Weekly squad] lost LA Weekly freelance writer, Artemis Thomas-Hansard, for two hours but in the process of recovering her, we found ourselves. (DDLC)


1:48 p.m. Algiers’ sound is layered and experimental. Major echoing reverb on vocals, sampled drums with acoustic beats, and the guitar player is now stimulating his strings with a bow. The combination combined with dissonant keys is eerie and intriguing. (KC)

3:40 p.m. Things overheard in the press tent, “I haven’t sucked any dick, yet.” (DDLC)

3:46 p.m. With his devilish Gibson guitar and fuzzy blues riffs ringing, Gary Clark Jr. owns the Coachella Stage. It looks like music is his way to exorcise his demons. (KC)

4:28 p.m. As we’re walking into the gate two drunk ass dudes debate about whether the desert mountains are real or holograms. Bro existentialism at its finest. (CH)

4:57 p.m. As Run the Jewels starts their set, Killer Mike calls out, “Prince wherever you are, we’re gon’ burn this place down to the ground!” The legend DJ Shadow comes out later to spin, followed by that awkward moment when a video drone flies and films directly in front of the stage. Finally, Zach de la Rocha joins on stage to perform his collaboration with RTJ. (KC)

5:54 p.m. I notice that the balloons are being let out, which hopefully means that the wind is not likely tonight. (KC)

6:29 p.m. Chvrches lead singer starts explaining how she realized that there are large screens projecting her face. “No one wants to see my big dumb face.” Then starts affirming her love for touring the US, but having Trump or Cruz would be a letdown being here. (KC)

7:07 p.m. I walked by some guys speaking in Australian accents, I’ve lost count of the Australians at Coachella by this point. (DDLC)

7:10 p.m. Now is the first time it’s really feels like a full crowd is in the Mojave. They focus on the Mexicali Texmex blues rock music from The Arcs led by Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys. (KC)

8:03 p.m. Vince Staples is intense. The Sahara tent is on another level for electrical rigging. Multidimensional cubes with at least 40 images hang like a Minecraft blocks all flickering a mixture of visual stimuli. This is the future of performance art. (KC)

8:13 p.m. Vince Staples says to his crowd, “If you’re high as fuck at Coachella right now make some MOTHAFUCKIN noise!” my music editor let’s out a huge WHOOO!!! (DDLC)

9:02 p.m. Stuck in the long, slow-ass line for Afters ice cream hoping you’ll make it on time to get a good spot for Ice Cube and then you hear a “YAY YEY!” from the distance. FUCK. (DDLC)

10:21 p.m. Screaming like a Beiber fan when Dr. Dre came out at the Ice Cube NWA reunion. Coachella is going hard AF this year. Shout out to the badass stage right sign language interpreter! If she ever drops a mixtape that shit will be hot. (CH)

10:28 p.m. Right before Grimes starts, the handful of people hanging up front get into political conversation. One is a Brit, one is American, and it’s very clear the Brit does not like Trump and is worried about him being elected. (KC)

10:45 p.m. Things overheard on the way to the main stage for Guns N’ Roses, “ I need some hot guy to put me on his shoulders so I can see that shit.” (DDLC)

11:47 p.m. I almost get ran over by a flock of VIP members running to the railing, called by the sound of the Slash’s guitar that leads into “Sweet Child Of Mine.” I dodge past iPhones flinging into the air to take video, and am able to find a safe standing area. Axl starts in, sitting in his throne, nailing his parts like his younger self. (KC)

12:45 a.m. Overheard during the Guns N’ Roses set, “Is it weird that I’m kinda turned on by Slash?” “No, if he weren’t married I’d chug his balls. If only he could play me like he plays his guitar.” (DDLC)

2:00 a.m. The crew in my carpool home starts covering Lil Jon and E-40’s throwback hit, Snap Yo Fingaz— bassline, hook and verses included. (DDLC)

2:45 a.m. Creepy guy at the Del Taco drive-thru tries our music editor Nate to roll down his window and says ” Ay dog, tell her (Del Taco store clerk) to open the door for me! That’s my sister!” Nate says, “You guys aren’t related.” Rolls up window slowly. One minute later that creepy dude put on a Michael Myers mask, jumped into a ’90s red drop top, and fled the scene wearing sunglasses on top of that creepy mask with hair. I order two green bean and cheese burritos, and our whole car tries to make sense of what the hell just happened. (CH)

12:42 p.m. Soundcheck for Sia is already blasting from the Coachella Stage. They are configuring the videos for the performance later tonight, and prepping the stage for the dancers. It sounds like her single “Chandelier” live, but there’s no sign of her actually on stage. (KC)

1:05 p.m. De Lux is getting funky, with their new generations of new wave rock. “We’re ‘90s kids.” Graphics depict an interesting storyline with their music as the soundtrack. (KC)

1:56 p.m. The “topless woman casually walking around” count is now at 3. (DDLC)

2:47 p.m. The Vandals’ Coachella set is the most OC thing I’ve ever seen, complete with a huge circle pit and a bro couple vaping right in front of me. Warren’s Hello Kitty guitar solo was badass, and “Screaming Anarchy Burger” next to terrified guys in khakis and desert shirts who clearly got lost on their way to the EDM tent is a memory I’ll cherish forever. (CH)

3:33 p.m. ” I thought I just perioded myself” – Bridget Arias (aka Rockography)  when she spilled red popsicle on her leg. (DDLC)

3:40 p.m. Taking Denise in her first pit at Rancid. She feels like she’s on a roller coaster that’s about to drop. (CH)

3:49 p.m. I just experienced my first mosh pit ever and it was awesome but very straining on cardio fuck I’m out of shape. Oh yeah, I got beer thrown in my eyes, it was awesome. (DDLC)

4:45 p.m. I spot Minnie Driver waiting front row for Pete Yorn. How ya’ like ‘dem apples? (KC)

5:59 p.m. “Vibes don’t lie dawg.” overheard in the press tent, wise words to live by. (DDLC)

7:29 p.m. Major Lazer opens with their intro and concert-goers rush to the VIP arena, and GA filter in filling up the main stage crowd. Wild dancing ensues to the beat of the techno. (KC)

7:52 p.m. “Fuck ya girl, are you single? Go get you your herpes on at the Do LaB” – Candace Hansen’s advice to me. (DDLC)

8:07 p.m. Dr.Dre and Kendrick Lamar just tore shit up at Anderson. Paak’s set. I’ve never thrown up the west coast so high and for so long. (DDLC)

8:44 p.m. We’re almost trampled by the Major Lazer crowd now funneling out of the Coachella Stage and off to either Flume or The Chainsmokers. Once past the rushing wave of people we settle in at the main stage for Sia. (KC)

9:14 p.m. Sia fooled me for a minute, but after close speculation, the videos and the performance on stage are not the same. That being said, the choreography on stage matched up perfectly with the large screens, and Sia’s vocals were unbelievably amazing. (KC)

9:42 p.m. The lady by me is either drugged out or trying to mimic the lyrical dance choreography during Sia’s set. (DDLC)

9:45 p.m. Just saw a three-way make out to Death Grips, a band that sounds like someone sampled just the break downs from live Throwdown shows with heavy hip hop. People are going hard and getting weird. Go ahead y’all. (CH)

10:14 p.m. Photographer Bridget Arias (aka Rockography) thinks Mike Snow is like a fuckable Beethoven. I could see it. (CH)

10:38 p.m. Red flares shoot from the Coachella stage and Calvin Harris is taking over and drawing in the mass of chaos that has inundated the VIP lounge. Where did all these people come from? It didn’t seem like they were here until this moment. (KC)

10:46 p.m. Candace Hansen during Calvin Harris’ set “Do they just press play? How do you know when a song is over?” (DDLC)

10:53 p.m. Overheard during Harris’ set: “Calvin Harris is so fine we should just start calling him Calvin Klein Harris.” (DDLC)

10:57 p.m. Deafheaven is a totally different beast compared to the Calvin Harris show. The crowd is modest, the mood much mellower, the instrumentation dynamic, with somber metal screaming vocals. (KC)

11:07 p.m. OHHHH that’s who Calvin Harris is! (CH)

11:16 p.m. Nosaj Thing’s DJ set mixed with visually stunning graphics is the perfect way to vibe out a bit before our long walk back down the Green Road and to our shuttle station. (KC)

11:40 p.m. I’m headed to the lost and found tent to look for my soul. (DDLC)

11:50 p.m. A mass of fireworks start shooting from the Coachella stage for the appearance of Taylor Swift. With that, our weekend comes to a close. (KC)

12:16 a.m. On the car drive home, we put on the local evangelical christian radio station and dub it “Christchella” we patiently listen to see if Dr. Dre makes a guest appearance. (DDLC)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *