Club Land

Photo by Jeanne RiceClub Forbidden
The Boogie
Every Wednesday

10:40 p.m. We are now pros on getting into the parking lot, but tonight, we realize belatedly we have executed a somewhat dangerous across-three-lanes maneuver, cutting off a long line of cars. The valet told us to! Inside, we have to tell people we're “flying solo” tonight, trying to make it sound like we're not a hooker. Soon, we spot lovely celebrity bartendrix Ji Su of Linda's Doll Hut and glom on to her quicker than a boy hopped up on GHB.

10:52 p.m. Second stop: smoking cellblock. Longhaired, either hippie or Hessian-looking couple stands at the edge. “I really feel out of place,” he's telling his woman. He wishes he could find a biker bar. An extremely drunk platinum blonde stumbles into them; her friend sneers, “Excuuuuuuse me,” at hippie/Hessian woman, who begins palpitating with impotent fury. “Maybe she really was saying excuse me, but she was so drunk she had to overenunciate it like that,” we hazard. The couple is already feeling awkward, and now they've got snotty little platinum holes looking down their fixed noses at them. Great.

11:40 p.m. Promoters Jaime Muoz and Altan have packed the giganteBoogie—on a Wednesday!—with pretty peeps in the uniform: we do not see one woman who isn't wearing the right pants (straight-legged hip-huggers that are really very slimming). How did they all know to buy the same pants? What's the cultural touchstone? Is that what they're wearing on Friends? Are they wearing the same pants in New York and London? And how long will these particular pants last before this style ends and we have to buy new ones (we can't buy Capri pants, for instance; we're convinced the second we do, they'll be over already)? Just the summer, or for the whole year?

12:22 a.m. Gorgeous Anaheim fireboy is here again; we also spot a guy whom we'd last seen passed out at approximately 5:47 a.m. the Saturday before at Long Beach's the Space. His friendly friend lip-synchs with us along to 2 Live Crew: “Just a nibble on my dick like a rat does cheese.” Do we really remember that song from fifth grade? Ah, the gangbangs of youth!

1 a.m. We finally find Jaime, who buys us more drinks. It's about this time that an evening that had been full of promise begins to go south. It's not that anything gets bad; it's just that you realize you're not gonna score and most of the beauties seem to have taken off while you were peeing and rearranging your pigtails. Bummer. You will come back the next week anyway.

Club Forbidden at the Boogie, 1721 S. Manchester, Anaheim, (714) 956-1410. Wed., 8 p.m. $5. 21+.

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