I’m the neighbor who dutifully picks up the shit my dog leaves on your lawns. If I notice poop from other dogs within arm’s reach, I add that to my waste bag as well. YOU are the neighbors who allow your flea machines to crap all over my lawn without picking up after them. Unfortunately, I only see the outcome, not the actual depositing of said excrement. If I catch your canines in the act, I will secretly follow you to your homes, scooping up all the poop I encounter along the way, for the Close Encounters-style mountain of dog shit I will be leaving on your lawns.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to email@example.com.