Best Secret About Mile Square Park

People yap about Mile Square Park's 62 acres of undeniable beauty. That is why it's a popular spot for walking, jogging, golfing, basketball, softball, baseball, soccer, Frisbee tossing, kiting and picnicking. At a recent gun show, a pair of middle-aged white men told us they were stockpiling weapons and ammo because California is on the verge of a race war that will bring people hunting à la The Hunger Games. What would prompt such a belief? We didn't have to ask! Our fretting Caucasians volunteered the cause: The Kenyan commander in chief is plotting ways to permanently socialize the USA, confiscate guns, limit ammo, undermine Christianity, encourage Muslim terrorists and open the border for lazy, savage Mexican immigrants who will rob us of our public resources, destroy American values and—they really seethed about this one—vote only for Democrats. What does this have to do with Mile Square Park? In addition to the aforementioned activities, outdoor archery practice (no crossbows, please) is available for free, not counting the $5 weekend parking fee. See? You can outsmart Barack Obama and the Russians/Cubans who groomed him by honing your bow-and-arrow skills for the upcoming war before he imposes draconian federal restrictions on the size of your quiver.

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