You never know when terrorists, Commies or zombies will make their way down PCH from Long Beach, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be prepared to defend your way of life. Oh, you'll shoot them with your cherished firearms? Well, what happens when you run out of ammo, smarty-pants? You'd better hope you're in the re-creation of Don Beach's tiki paradise when it happens; you can pry his prized collection of South Seas daggers from the walls, do a Maori war cry and have at the enemy with the fury of a thousand angry moai. Once you've driven the Taliban, the Soviet Menace or the Nazgûl off to find easier pickings, celebrate with a huge, fruity rum-based drink and a pupu platter.
