Best Disharmonic Convergence

Once you get over the disturbing fact you're hiking to the beach with a surfboard, ice chest, umbrella, playpen and plasma TV in tow, descending the path to Trestles becomes quite pleasant as the soothing sounds of nature—chirping birds, rustling leaves, scampering critters—fill your left ear. Sadly, it is but a brief respite from civilization because in no time at all, your right ear is polluted with the racket of Interstate 5. The closer you get to the underpass, the louder the engines, sirens, honking horns, rubber hitting the road and thumpa-thumpa-thumpa nonsense gets. Eventually, like a hooker in a Tarantino movie, Ma Nature is completely silenced. Fortunately, as you approach the beach, the crashing waves drown out the freeway, although you may first be subjected to a blast of dissonance from a rapidly passing Amtrak train. Of course, the problem with the soothing sounds of nature being killed by traffic will be solved should the 241 Foothill South toll-road extension cut its proposed swath through San Onofre State Beach, uncomfortably close to Trestles. If that happens, it'll be all traffic, all the time flowing into both ear canals. Behold progress!

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