Bathroom Blackout [Hey, You!]

You are the conscientious co-workers who oh-so-thoughtfully turn off the light when you are done taking a leak in the men’s bathroom. It’s really impressive how careful you are to make sure the lights are out when nobody’s using the toilet. But that’s the rub. Has it ever occurred to you that just because someone isn’t making a symphony out of their bowel movements doesn’t mean they aren’t actually on the bowl, quietly waiting for some privacy to finish his business? Thank God for cellphones or I’d have a hard time making a clean escape. Maybe next time, I’ll alert you to my presence with a timely flush.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to le*****@oc******.com.

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