You are the little tweaker slut who took advantage of your aunt’s ex-husband when he allegedly gave you permission to stay in his house. The cock-and-bull story you gave him about your renewed commitment to college was just to warm the former professor’s heart, and you repaid his generosity by sqatting in his house for almost five months after he died, selling his stuff and trashing the place. After you were finally evicted this month, I discovered what you were really studying: prostitution and drugs, and you were fully immersed. When you appear on the earlier drug charges against you later this month, I hope the judge locks your butt up because you are truly a menace to society.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to firstname.lastname@example.org.