Nadya Suleman is one celibate, Taco Bell–loving, non-Hunger Games-watching gal.
I spoke with La Habra's most famous yesterday through Dial-a-star.com, where other losers can chat with D-List celebrities for as little as $2 a minute, or $100 a minute, depending one's, uh, taste in pop culture.
Here's our exchange:
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Octomom: Hello?
OC Weekly: Hi. Is this Nadya?
Octomom: Hello?
OC Weekly: Hi. Is this Nadya?
Octomom: Hi. Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't know if you could hear me. It's a bad…can you hear me? It's a really bad area of reception. My phone sucks. Can you hear me?
OC Weekly: Yeah. fine.
Octomom: Oh. Good, good. I'm kind of like, climbing on top of the children again. I have to do that because (unintelligible) in my back yard. (unintelligible) is outside in the back yard. Thank you, thank you, thank you for calling. I'm grateful for your time.
OC Weekly: My name's Josh Dulaney. I'm a staff writer at OC Weekly. Do you read that?
Octomom: No. I don't have time to (unintelligible) no I don't. No.
Break to deposit more money.
Octomom: It's like, really bad. Hello? Hi. Hi. I'm sorry about that.
OC Weekly: Do you mind if I record our conversation? Is that OK?
Octomom: Um, I'm sure it's fine. The only thing I want to convey to you…I'm not supposed to talk…according to my manager…I'm not supposed to talk about the food stamp issue.
OC Weekly: About the what issue? Oh. OK.
Octomom: I can talk about anything else. The food stamp issue. Yeah.
OC Weekly: Who you gonna for vote between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama?
Octomom: (Laughter) Oh boy. You know what? I'm a registered voter, and if I had time, I will try my best to make the time, because I don't have any help, I…tried, this is a funny story, when I was pregnant with the eight, thought it was seven, I was on my way at my end of (unintelligible) with the other kids,
and I was going to vote for Obama, so I started to have severe pains in my, my ribs. I thought I was having kidney failure (unintelligible) so I turned around…and we went back home. So I didn't make it. I didn't (unintelligible) get a vote…because I got…when my little one broke the rib…kicked my rib out of…
dislocated my rib hiding baby eight.[
OC Weekly: Between the two of them, who would you, you know, who would you rather sleep with?
Octomom: I would probably, if I, if I could have an opportunity, I was going to, I was gonna vote for Obama to begin with and I'm, I'm still consistent with that. I'm a supporter.
OC Weekly: Who would you rather sleep with? Mitt Romney or Barack Obama?
Octomom: Oh. No. Oh. Not (unintelligible) myself. Seriously. (Laughter) (Unintelligible) Anybody. No human. No animal. Nothing. No one. Totally celibate. I will not be that way.
OC Weekly: You could repopulate the planets with Mitt, you know. He's a Mormon. He likes the babies.
Octomom: I know. (Laughter) I've heard that before. I have, I have. Yeah, but, baby factory, uh, closed permanently. Thank you though. (Laughter) Whatever. Go ahead. Ask any question. Anything other than the food stamps.
[
OC Weekly: Have you seen “Hunger Games”?
Octomom: No, I haven't…I think…the last movie…my kids dragged me to see “Journey”. But I forgot the name of the movie. “Journey 2”? Cute movie. And before that (unintelligible) we watched (unintelligible) like over a hundred times. If I watch a movie, it's a kids movie. That's
about it. Yeah. No time.
OC Weekly: What is your… do you prefer the Austrian School of Economics versus, you know, Keynesian Economics?
Octomom: What kind of economics? (Laughter) I'm like, trying to balance (unintelligible) the kids (unintelligible) the economics. I didn't do very well in economics (Laughter) in school. My best subject, of course, is science. I was actually pre-med at one point.
OC Weekly: Oh. Wow.
Octomom: Yeah, I had a 4.0, and I was always…I'm embarrassed talking about myself, but, I was a good student. But yeah, I think there's multiple intelligences. I think there's like, 11 or 12. I think if I'm lucky, I'm like 2, and that's kinda pushing it. (Laughter) I think…more of a inter-personal, intra-personal thing that's associated (unintelligible) psychology. That's about it. Yeah.
OC Weekly: Have you ever done “reverse cowboy?” (Writer's note: She juked me with the pre-med comment. It's actually “reverse cowgirl”.)
Octomom: Reverse cowboy.
OC Weekly: Yeah.[
Octomom: To me, I'm visual. Explain that.
OC Weekly: Well, you know, it's kinda like where the, you know, the gal is on top and she's kind of looking at the guy's feet.
Octomom: (Unintelligible) Around my brain. But where did it go? Let's think about this. (Laughter) I was (unintelligible) one boyfriend for about five years. I didn't much. We didn't do much. And I (unintelligible) ever done that. (Unintelligible) And all fingers (unintelligible). Not that I ever use any finger, but nonetheless, I think
I'm very, very inexperienced. And in the future…in the future, if I were ever in a long-term committed relationship, and I would only give myself…
Break to deposit more money. OC Weekly declines.
OC Weekly: Still there?
Octomom: Oh, you're still there! That's awesome! Thank you! (Laughter) Thank you. Sure.
OC Weekly: One last question.
Octomom: Yeah. Anything. Sure. Go ahead.
OC Weekly: Are you do anything on Friday night? You wanna go out? (Laughter) I spend less than $20 on a date though.
Octomom: Oh shoot. Well my favorite food now is Taco Bell. Speaking of Taco Bell, I just ate a burrito. My favorite, bean and cheese burrito with extra hot sauce. I'd be a cheap date. But, no, honestly…
OC Weekly: Have you had the Dorito taco?
Octomom: Dorito? No, no. That's plain. I'm very, very, very low-maintenance person.
OC Weekly: Oh. OK.
Octomom: Very. I don't wear makeup. I take one shower a day. If I have soap and wash my hair every day, I'm happy. I am like, the lowest maintenance person you'd ever meet…and I'm not materialistic. And if I ever in the future, being honest with you, I don't date. I'd have to be friends with somebody. I really would have to be friends with a man for…I'm not kidding…for years. No, years before it were to manifest or evolve in anything more.
OC Weekly: That's a severe Friend Zone.
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