Dromo One isn't the only place to go fast, but since it's strategically located for easy access from OCWeeklyworld headquarters—and since also you can go fast here with your butt just centimeters off the concrete and a gallon of gasoline between your legs—we'll start with it: Dromo One, 1431 N. Main St., Orange, (714) 744-4779; www.dromo1.com.
And if Dromo One is too racey for you, try Go Kart World, a possible starting point for anyone (me) slightly initimidated by the fearsome karts of Dromo One. A couple of years ago, Go Kart World added a concrete slick kart track very similar to what Dromo has—but its karts still have the huge wings on the top like midget racers, making them ever so much more friendly. 21830 Recreation Rd., Carson, (310) 834-3700; www.gokartworld.com.
Not as fast, but with more horses to the factor of 3x (x being the number of horses. I think. Once you subtract the remainder) is the AnaheimEquestrianCenter—home to the Rancho Del Rio Stables, which are not only adjacent to the Angel Stadium (of Los Angeles) but are also the gateway to many miles of horse trails. 1370 S. Sanderson, Anaheim, (714) 535-3510; www.ranchodelriostable.com.
Fastest of all, of course, but featuring neither go-karts nor horses is the always-pleasant IrwindaleDragstrip—which bills itself as "the fastest 1/8th-mile strip in the country." If you've got a car and a valid driver's license and you can fog a mirror, you are in. It's a little more complex than that, but not much. 500 Speedway Dr., Irwindale, (626) 305-1562; www.irwindalespeedway.com/dragstrip/index.asp.
They tore down the Cal State Dominguez Hills Olympic Velodrome, the bicycle track from the '84 Olympics, to build Home Depot Center, but then they rebuilt the bike track as the antiseptically named ADT Event Center. It's actually cooler than the Velodrome was, with workouts for riders and a variety of training that could help you morp into another Lance Armstrong. For info on workouts and training, the website suggests you contact Roger Young via e-mail at email@example.com. 18400 Avalon Blvd., Carson; www.homedepotcenter.com.
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And for absolutely no reason, there's badminton: the sport where the only thing going fast is the shuttlecock—fun to say but very hard to see—and your heart. The late actor Alan Hale said it best in They Drive by Night: "Two guys chase a feather with flyswatters—and the one that don't drop dead winsthegame![wheezy laughter]" The place for badminton locally is the Orange County Badminton Club, which charges various fees to play—but then, they're to badminton what the Doll Hut is to rockabilly. 1432-A N. Main St., Orange, (714) 639-6222; www.ocbadmintonclub.com.