You are my co-worker, and I like you a lot, but you insist on keeping a creepy, old and tattered doll on your desk that I can see every time I sit down. It's some kind of old TV-show guy from the 1940s, a ginger cowboy with a ton of freckles on his bloated cheeks. He wears a plaid shirt and a yellow printed bandana; his pants are so old they're coming apart. It was some family heirloom of your dad's, and it reminded you to not be a victim or act like a jerk. I made the mistake of telling you how much I hate to look at it. Then I come into work this morning, and you had left this Howdy Doody nightmare puppet draped over my chair. I hope Howdy Doody haunts your dreams every night and you wake up thinking your own face is wearing all his freckles.
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