The 10 Step Illustrated Pot Moocher's Guide to Getting High at Shows
All illustrations by Dan Zettwoch
Marijuana and music have gone hand in hand for decades. In the '60s, when Bob Dylan smoked out the Beatles for the first time and howled, "Everybody must get stoned!" on the opening track of Blonde on Blonde, middle America was frightened by the reefer madness of rock 'n' roll music. Luckily, times have changed.
The last time the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services conducted a study on the topic, they found that more than 100 million Americans have used or regularly use marijuana. And, of course, the process of decriminalization has begun. Even in Texas, where possession of small amounts of weed will earn you a misdemeanor charge and possible jail time, there is almost always the sweet aroma of weed smoke in the air, especially at outdoor concerts.
Whether you're an occasional smoker or you've got a green lung, maybe you've caught the urge to partake at a concert. Not that we're encouraging you to commit crimes. We're just presenting hypotheticals. So, conceptually, you reach into your pocket, only to discover you forgot your stash. Luckily, a friend with weed is a friend indeed, and your fellow concert patrons are just friends you haven't met yet. Here's how to make the connection. Remember folks, you may not have a joint, but it'd be a lot cooler if you did.
Dan Zettwoch Dan Zettwoch
3. Sniff it out. That sweet smell of Mary Jane that just smacked you in the face as you walked through the crowd? Follow that. Wait until your stoner Spidey Sense starts tingling, then move in for the kill.
5. Keep a Swisher or some papers on you. It's another thing stoners somehow always need. It also helps to be able to roll. Honestly, there's a 50/50 chance you might have to smoke it for them too.
7. If someone's not trying to share their weed, don't pout. That's their right, as a marijuana purchaser, and your cross to bear as a hop-on. Refrain from all side-eyeing, scoffing or hair flipping. That's just bad form.
9. Don't hijack that shit. Don't smoke down a whole joint in three pulls, don't puff and pass to four friends behind you. And don't overstay your welcome in that rotation, or you might not be invited back.
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