Six Things Not to Say to Billy Corgan While Auditioning for Smashing Pumpkins

Billy Corgan wants YOU to join Smashing Pumpkins
Billy Corgan wants YOU to join Smashing Pumpkins
Andrew Youssef

Ever dream of being in Smashing Pumpkins? Then chances are you remember worshipping Beavis and Butt-head, proudly owning a beeper and having to buy/rent/borrow/steal a VHS tape to enjoy porn. Good times!

Which you can kinda sorta relive by joining Smashing Pumpkins. Billy Corgan is holding auditions for a bassist to replace Ginger Pooley and a keyboardist who "can play in the prog-rock style of [Deep Purple's] Jon Lord and [Yes'] Rick Wakeman."

All you have to do is email resume and performance clips to pumpkinsbass@gmail.com or pumpkinskeys@gmail.com.

Good luck on getting a response. And if you do, here are six things you should NOT say to Mr. Corgan during the interview process. 


1. At this point, isn't it kinda silly calling your band Smashing Pumpkins?

2. Um, if this doesn't work out, any chance of me joining Zwan?

3. Dude, I'm 23 and I think my hairline is receding. At what age did you start going bald?

4. Has Courtney Love always been crazy?

5. So, Billy, seriously, are you boning Jessica Simpson or what? And, like, is it as good as John Mayer says it is?

6. Ya mind giving me the digits for Tila Tequila? She's freaking hot!

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